Yesterday, I went over to Donna’s house for lunch. I had bought a bunch of pink roses, as the Rose Day is here. She smiled and I walked in to find a cute teddy bear on the couch with a note saying, “Dear Emily, Big hug to you on this Teddy Bear Day! –Jake”. Emily had grown up to be a gorgeous young lady. I could see pride in her mother’s eyes, whenever she spoke about her.
But, today she rather seemed a little tensed and handed me a diary. I hesitated before opening it as it belonged to Emily, who is a teenager.
But Donna said, “Honestly, Bob, I feel it’s the only way I can understand what’s going on in her life. She has taken to silence recently and it’s difficult to bring her to say what’s disturbing her.”
I flipped the diary open to the bookmarked page.
“Well, I do want to agree to positive preachers, but at the same time get really affected by my mother’s single status. Valentine’s Day is around and she is all alone, she is either enjoying with us or sitting at her desk working. Ethan and I are going out with school kids. Earlier, we used to stay with mom and enjoy the cuddles and kisses, gifts and surprises but these days we are sort of occupied with our own things, leaving no time for her.
I wish, my dad had cared enough, I wish my mom didn’t have this higher vision of saving the earth and for once would have thought of saving herself from solitude.”
I closed the diary and looked at the glum face of my dear friend, Donna, who, instead of grumbling would rather accept the world with a big grin on other occasions.
This was an effect of transition and her adolescent daughter felt guilty of being happy with her newfound amities. She felt the responsibility of being a companion to her mother.
Donna and I reflected upon the situation, as I nibbled at the chocolate ice-cream she had served. We always focus on the solutions more than the troubles. The best way to handle the change and relieve her daughter to enjoy her life would be to simply come out of the cocoon she had been in for years. Enjoy the world outside of goals, work and children.
I suggested her to go on a solo vacation and pamper herself on Valentine’s Day. Reward herself with something she always kept postponing. Wish friends and relatives, as the more we shrink our support group, we fall prey to loneliness. Send greetings packed with love.
She thanked me for having such a heart to heart conversation. She realized that she had closed herself from the pleasures of companionship and, her daughter’s reflections were just a message for her to open her heart to love and smiles.
Denial of emotions can aggravate the situation; rather experiencing the pain completely can release us. I believe we all have one person who would always be there to raise a toast, when everyone else has gone, and that person is the self.
Celebrate with folks and love yourself more on the upcoming Valentine’s Day as love begets love and above all, count your blessings more than the woes.