Why Impose An End Date?

When the phone rang all I could hear was sobbing from the other side. It was from Donna! She has been keeping her contact minimal for some time now. It had bothered all of us.

“Bob! I feel that I am not strong enough,” she cried. “Calm down! What happened, Donna? Why have you been so away from all of us? We are worried!” I replied.

“I always felt that I have been too caught up in my past experiences. Be it my separation, battling my health issues, or unable to make any relationship work out. These issues never let me move forward. So, I thought of taking some time off from everything and just grieve over it. And, then come out of it. It’s been so many days now, I have reached nowhere to what I had desired,” she expressed.

“Have some water! Will you?” I replied. She drank water. I calmed her down.

“Now listen to me! What you are doing is trying to rush over. You are trying to impose an end date on your tears and being too harsh on yourself. It’s not a project where you get it done and dusted! Let it release on its own over time,” I expressed.

“But for how long?” she asked. “When there is a minor cut it takes a few days to heal. When there is a fracture it takes months to recover. Do you impose any end date to such healing? Then why do that to your own feelings?” I asked.

“Then what should I do?” she asked. “Each wound is different! You should reflect on the lessons and let the wounds heal with time. Cutting yourself off from your loved ones will make it more difficult for you,” I replied.

“You’re right! I’m fretting over it too much. I should let it take its own course. I should not shut myself up,” she said. “That’s good! Now have your dinner and sleep! I will call you in the morning to see how you are feeling. Alright?” I said. “Yes! I will. Thanks, Bob!” she said and hung up.

The next day she sounded a lot better and confident. I was glad.

Dealing with grief isn’t like dealing with it to just ‘get over it’. It takes time. Also, there is nothing wrong to acknowledge what you feel and how long you feel! Everyone has a different path and it isn’t identical. If you take longer to heal, then let it be. There is no specific date to come out of it. In the end, what matters is you overcome it and progress happily!


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