Indeed in true friendship, love never fails. You don’t take a vow together nor do you need to sing the songs of love for your besties. Your kins stick around to make your life easy and joyful. But if you need to preserve the warmth make the right efforts in place of taking the relationship for granted.
Fred and I have come a long way. We know each other intrinsically and can’t really do without each other. We’ve had our fun moments indeed but we’ve also had our share of differences. I am an extrovert and have a huge circle of friends whereas Fred is reserved and selective about his friends. Today when I look back on our journey, the friendship has made me much more wise and resilient than I ever was.
My amigo has been my mentor when I needed guidance, my companion when I wanted to share, my confidant when I needed to bare my heart out and that certainly called for a lot of patience on his part. I have learned many things in this special relationship. We understand each other’s’ feelings and eccentricities. We have our own lives and purposes but we haven’t cheesed off the other no matter how gravely we were caught up in life.
Here are 10 significant lessons I learnt from my best buddy which are vital to those who want to preserve their friendship for a lifetime.
1. Making time for each other matters. Be it spirited moments or leaden one, it’s important to show up. I remember the moment when I had hit a stumbling block in my life and scrolled my phone to find one name that could comfort me without giving me unsolicited advice or criticisms or worse judgments, my search ceased with his name. It’s important to be there for each other.
2. Appreciation matters along with honest feedback. I rely on him completely when I want an honest feedback even it is negative I can absorb it as other times he is the one who boosts up my confidence by constantly appreciating me.
3. Overcoming Envy. Sometimes we have a sneaking sense of envy when friends have virtues we want to develop. Envy is the darker side of love. But years of friendship with my best pal has taught me that jealousy is natural, but it’s not that useful. I can figure out a way to be happy and rejoice in his accomplishments. It’s better to get inspired in place of being envious.
4. Understand yourself better as friends are your mirror. I learn a lot about myself when I am with Fred. Look at your friends. What kind of equation is it? Observe what do you love about them and what is it you endure? These are nothing but facets of you being mirrored by your buddy.
5. Forgiveness and Resilience. I have certainly understood the game of ego. With friends I turn the ego knob to zilch as with them you learn the art of nurturing natural and uncomplicated relationships which has no space for conditions. And if the human-emotion does creep in between buddies, forgiveness and resilience works like magic.
6. Living life with zero pretenses and being blatantly you. You don’t need to pretend you prefer hard rock and over jazz. I never had to fake it when I was with my friend. We know each other’s temperaments; we know each other’s’ awkward moments and weird memories. Being honest with your best-friend is always rewarding.
7. Conflicts are a part. I learnt how to accept and love my friend no matter what. There were moments in our friendship that were not the best. Disagreements are natural just because you are not an echo of your friend. You are an individual with a mind of your own but that cannot draw a wall between you and your buddy unless he/ she is a narcissist.
8. Loving someone is a doing word. It comes with a bunch of responsibilities. When your friend needs you to arrange his girlfriend’s birthday party and he invites you for a helping hand, you got to be there, no matter what opinion you have of her, it is important for him and you care.
9. Be emergency ready and you know you are insured too. Having a forever friend is like having someone on SOS. It feels so relieving to always have someone we can depend on.
10. Be Grateful, this is the most important ingredient that could seal the soul agreement between forever friends. Be filled with gratitude and love. Celebrate the spirit of friendship joyously. Looking through the eyes of a good friend, I saw God.