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Friendship Quote: Dealing With Betrayal

Send Friendship EcardsTrue friends stab you in the front”- Oscar Wilde

It’s never easy to deal with betrayal, more so if the person concerned is a close friend. You may wonder why I chose this topic and this quote, especially when the International Friendship Month is coming to a close. I don’t know the reason myself, but there was something about this friendship quote that acted as the hook. I felt that betrayal is also a part of this whole cycle and I think some of you experienced it as well. I felt I should write about this and try and help those unfortunate ones who had to experience this unfortunate emotion.

What do you do when you come to know that you have been betrayed by a close friend? The natural reaction is, of course, one of hurt, anger and revenge. You want to give back what you got. You feel a severe breach of trust. And you feel angry on yourself for having trusted on a friend like this. But these feelings only make it hard for you. And you end up depressed and lose focus. The trick is to let go and move on. I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s the only way you can move out of this pit that you have got yourself into.

On the other hand, if you want to break off from a friendship, do it with dignity. Tell your friend clearly why you have to part ways and why you think your friendship has to end. It’s better to talk to the person concerned than send indirect messages through common friends or try to avoid and ignore contact. The way you handle it will make it easier for you as well as your friend. Sniping the bond with mutual respect is something that is most important, for the good ol’ times’ sake, if not anything else. Friendship is all about respect and you should not compromise on that on any point of time.

Have you had a bitter experience when a friend betrayed you? Does it still hurt? Vent it out.

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1 Anna | 02.26.09, 11:08 pm

A friends betrayal always hearts.You just have to take it as a part of life and move on.Crying over spilled milk won’t help you at all.Be more careful with what you confide and whom you confide.

2 Gary | 02.27.09, 2:45 am

B, have you heard Whitney Houston’s song “the greatest love of all”? It is to love oneself. No “friend” can betray anyone if one takes care of himself or herself well, that is, when one takes betrayal as nothing and carries on.

3 Jess | 02.27.09, 2:07 pm

The best thing one could do to one’s family and true friends is to love and take good care of oneself.

4 Laura | 03.24.09, 5:54 am

I feel betrayal, as well as abandonment are two of the most powerfully hurtful feelings to handle. I’m not sure if confronting the person is a good idea, as I believe betrayal shows a lack of respect. I don’t think the betrayer would be willing to admit that they don’t respect you.

5 Lindiwe | 04.27.09, 7:23 am

I felt betrayed by a longtime friend i trusted at this stage im hurt, angry and cant get over it

6 janeva | 05.29.09, 10:55 pm

I had an experience recently where I was not invited on a girl’s night, when I had expected to be. It was really surprisingly painful for me and brought back some primary school feelings which I felt ashamed of. I have told my two closest friends who were there that I felt hurt and that my natural tendency is to withdraw a bit for a while. I’m buying some space until I can decide whether or not to maintain those friendships or let them go. I have high standards with things like this cause I’m a very inclusive person and often think of others. Perhaps I have to learn not to expect the same from others but I thought my close friends knew me better. It’s not that I care about not being invited so much but that none of my buddies asked why or even told me about it. I am capable of moving on but am going slow as I don’t want to change who I am.

7 Monica | 09.29.09, 5:35 am

I’ve been betrayed by my so-called best friend and she doesn’t know that I know. I can’t tell her yet because I live with her and it will make things so difficult. I am looking for a new place and when the time comes I will tell her, calmly, with dignity, that the friendship is over. She lies to me, uses me and has stabbed me in the back repeatedly by telling other people my secrets. I could do the same but I won’t. I consider myself to be above that kind of behaviour. I feel sad for the lost friendship but I think that saying goodbye to her will set me free.

8 ria yu | 10.09.09, 4:02 am

i have a friend who are so bestfriends but my friend was crushing on this guy and my other friend just started to flirt with him i cna’t believe it the she started not to go with us we were confused after days we found out she was dating the person who my other friend has a huge crushed see it’s betrayal.!!!!!!!!!!!!but don’t let it stop to let you live in this world get up and start living a life again do it all and just stand up recover fast.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!cause tommorow is another day.!!!!!

9 Ches | 12.11.09, 2:27 pm

I was betrayed by my best friend many years ago, and not just once, but twice, then a third time. The second and third times were my fault, due to my being ever-hopeful. To this day, I still have not figured out how to move past the anger and the thoughts of revenge. I’m ready to finally be done with it, but I just don’t know how.

10 BE | 07.21.10, 11:21 pm

My best friend betrayed me. He is in jail now, recently convicted of a felony he committed before we even met. He hid this huge secret from me the entire time we were friends, and the long time we lived together, spending every day together. I trusted him completely, but now I feel like I never knew him at all. I wonder if I’m a fool for not seeing the truth…. for not asking; for not discovering this disgusting thing he did. I feel like a fool. This is insane. I can’t believe it’s real. I can’t sleep, I can’t stop eating…. How could I let this happen. Why did this happen? I want this anger to go away.

11 Annabel | 05.08.11, 3:47 pm

I was recently betrayed by my best friend. Twice in the same day. She called me a liar about having a boyfriend, because she never gets to see him, even though I’ve seen him many times, and she’s talked to him before. She told me everything I’ve told her over the past few months is a lie. Also, we both practice Wicca from time to time. I learned from a very close friend that she’s been preforming spells on me and the people I love, for quite some time now. Not only did she call me a liar and stab me in the heart, but she also used magick against me and stabbed me in the back. I’m still reeling with the rage she’s caused within me, and am plotting revenge, although I will most likely never go through with it. That’s just not the person I am.