Ashley and I were sipping our espressos at our favorite cafe when her face suddenly was clouded with disappointment. She sighed, “Bob, I didn’t get the promotion I wanted. It feels like no matter how hard I try, I just keep falling short.”

I could tell how much this meant to her. “Ashley,” I said, “you’re putting so much pressure on one outcome that you’re missing the value in the journey itself. When the reality is that growth happens in every experience, even in these missed chances. Sometimes, we have to start counting our wins, even the ones that might seem small or go unnoticed, both in the ups and downs.”

She looked intrigued, “What do you mean by counting wins in the ‘downs’?”

“Well,” I explained, “even in setbacks, there are wins worth celebrating. For example, think of what you learned during this promotion process. Maybe you built new skills, learned about yourself, or built connections. Each of those is a win that’ll help you down the road. It’s not just about reaching a goal but also appreciating the small wins that get you closer to it.”

Ashley said, “So, instead of focusing just on the things that didn’t happen, I should look at what’s working, even in the middle of what feels like a failure?”

“Exactly,” I nodded. “Setbacks can teach resilience, open doors you might not have considered, and ultimately bring you closer to becoming the person you want to be. The process is just as important as the destination.”

She gave a smile, “Thank you, Bob. I’ve been so focused on what I didn’t get that I’ve overlooked what I did gain along the way. Maybe there’s more to this than just a promotion.”

“Absolutely,” I replied feeling her energy shift to a positive side.

Dear readers, don’t let setbacks make you lose sight of your progress. Life is full of ups and downs, and each moment offers something to celebrate. It’s not just about the big win—it’s about recognizing the journey that brings you there.