Bob’s First Date Blues

I didn’t know what the heck were “First Date Blues” until Irina clued me in. I went out with Martina on a double date with Irina and her boyfriend. I don’t think it went very well. That’s when Irina said, “You’re just suffering from first date blues” I was like, “What?” She explained that when your first date didn’t go off too well, you suffered from “First Date Blues”! I tried to let that sink but I’m still not sure I understand. My double date was not really a deal breaker like the one I had with Megan, Leo and Cathy. If you missed that, read it here. But it was not ideal too!

It started off well with Alex, Irina’s boyfriend, filling us with stories of the Obama campaign. He spoke at length and with enthusiasm. Irina, for the first time probably, listened to someone speak without writing text messages or just fiddling with the phone! But Martina had other ideas. She said that we’re banking too much on something that is intangible and all speculation. She spoke how we must not build too big a bubble that would burst on our faces with the strain of expectations. Though I appreciate her independent views, it was a little discomforting to know that she didn’t share the general enthusiasm.

There’s a fine line between optimism and illusion. I think Martina was trying to point that out and this didn’t go down well with Alex. He was silent through the rest of the evening and Irina was trying to cover up for his silence. That was another point of concern! I talked about abstract matters with Martina and soon it was them and us in two separate talk zones. I don’t think Martina liked the date too. I’m also not sure if she would meet me again. But this was a totally unexpected scenario. Neither did I think about things going this way, nor did I plan my next move. I need your help on this. Please write to me.


10 thoughts on “Bob’s First Date Blues

  1. I think conversations where everyone agrees on everything being discussed can be pretty boring. Sounds like Irina’s boyfriend may be a little sensitive when confronted with another persons perspective. The only way we grow is by listening to all opinions without judgement and then re-evaluating our own. Opinions are not necessarily right or wrong. They are based on what is true in the life of the person giving the opinion and no two lives are the same. If you see one as right and the other wrong, you may alienate the person or persons who may help you get a clearer picture of what you are discussing, whatever that may be. Don’t be so sure Martina did not have a good time. She probably found the conversation stimulating. She may have felt bad about the silence from Irina’s boyfriend. But that’s all about him, not Martina.

  2. Seems like what caused the date to go a little “awkward” didn’t have much to do with how well you and Martina were getting along. It was mostly about Martina and Alex different point of views and that’s fine. I guess your best bet at this point would be to have a date just the two of you and see how well that goes.

    Maybe you’re getting the first date blues because you were hoping it would go well, maybe you do like Martina and were disappointed that it got awkward and you didn’t get to fully enjoy her company.

    Who knows what the heart thinks sometimes.

    I say give it another shot, just the two of you.

  3. hmm, well you should have mentioned something about people having different ideas, then just changed the whole subject into something they can all share.but oh well you have the blues.=]

    I think you should call her and ask her out again how about alone? no double dating…get to know her better, she wouldn’t refuse talking/seeing you for one incident, just try and make fun of the whole thing (laugh it out)with her then ask her out again. Hope it works well for ya

  4. Hello Bob,

    This is my first time writing to you on this. If what you are writing is real, I don’t think that you had a so-called “First Date Blue”. I think that you just found out that you did not have the chemistry. I do believe in chemistry and if it was not just “pop-up”. That’s it!! Till you find the right one, you will know.


  5. B. Sorry to hear things did not go well on your date with Martina. I was just going to answer your previous blog in regards to your question, should you make it a date with Martina or just have coffee. I guess I’m too late. but what I was going to email you was that it might be a good idea to just have a coffee with her and at a place that you don’t know folks. In this way you can both get to know each other without other friends interrupting or for a nicer phrase, intruding on your private get together. Friends are great, but can be curious and nosy. Also they know you so well and will talk ‘shop talk’ and the new person you are with doesn’t know the low down on all your friends’ ways. Could get cliquish. I even have had friends who haave gotten jealous when I’m with a new friend. So I hope this helps you with perhaps seeing Martina next time- maybe alone? your friend always, L.

  6. Oh, B., and one more thing I have several quotes for your “Inspirational Monday.” And since it’s Valentine’s Day is this coming week, I decided to first send you quotes on love. A dozen quotes like a dozen crimson red roses. Next week, I’ll send varying quotes in regards to Friendship, inspiration, motivation, etc.
    1. “Where we love is home. Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
    2. “It’s so easy, to think about love, to talk about love, to wish for love, but it’s not always easy, to recognize love. Even when we hold it … in our hands.” Jaka
    3.”You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person, perfectly.” Sam Keen
    4. “Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.” J. Isham
    5.”Love is but the disovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.” Alexander Smith
    6.”Love is friendship set on fire.” Jeremy Taylor
    7. “To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.” Unknown
    8.”Love is a dream that comes when we meet.” Unknown
    9. “The soul that can speak with its eyes can also kiss with a gaze.” Unknown
    10. “We came by night to the Fortunate Isles. And lay like fish under the net of our kisses.” Pablo Neruda
    11. “Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.” Robert Sexton
    12. “I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal.” Vita Sackville-West
    *Happy Valentine’s Day dear friend, xoxoxo, L.

  7. Bob,
    Hey, does sound like you and Martina had a nice time.. Go on second date, but go with no expectations… and let the first date be behind you.. Cant change what happened, just need to take the lessons learned from it, and move on.. Good luck..


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *