The winter months has an effect on our mood. Does it affect our need to be loved? Let’s find out in this edition, along with what Christmas means for a friend this year. Join me…

Do you know that about 10 million Americans feel depressed during the winter season? That’s a fact that Adrian gleaned from the internet. He told me the other day that people start getting depressed and gloomy as soon as the weather goes that way. I don’t know if it holds true for you, but you got to admit that the sky over your head does influence your mood sometimes. You may feel bright and cheerful and simply depressed when clouds hang like heavy perfume in the air.

I was curious to know if there was any way to combat this depression. Adrian told me that flowers can help. If you keep fresh flowers on your desk at work or on the coffee table in your pad, the vibrant colors of flowers can inject that sense of optimism back into you. “It’s like adrenaline pumped through the eyes!” Adrian offered. True to his thinking, we are keeping some fresh roses that Eleanor gave us from her garden. We don’t know about us, but it has certainly cheered up Kong! He loves toppling the vase each time we put it back.

Special gestures take special effort. When you want to reach out people like you have never done before, you have to do something very different. The effort will take a part of you. It could be in terms of time, effort or just emotional investment. But that’s a price which Kate is willing to pay this time during Christmas. Kate is somewhat sure that this may be her last Christmas as ‘Miss Kate’! So she wants to take this opportunity to thank all friends and support groups here in New York.

Kate was very emotional when she spoke of her plan to me. Kate wants me to assist her write down some Christmas messages for her. “I want to thank everyone who was there for me during my stay as a single girl in the city,” Kate told me, “I can never make it up to them, but I’d like them to know that I appreciate their encouragement and support.” I’m only too glad to help! Kate has always been a special friend to me, not just because she has a foolishly romantic heart like I do. It’s also because no one is deprived of her warmth, friend or just acquaintance.

While we worry our heads about the weather affecting us, Megan feels that this time of the year is the best time to go out on dates! It’s what she calls the “Like Everybody Else” or “LEE” effect! “When you see couples cozying up during the cold days, you so wish you were doing the same!” is how Megan would explain her theory on why we must find dates this festive season. “Come on, guys,” Megan tried to push the single ones among us, “Would you like to let the year pass, sitting around like a bunch of losers?”

I was much inspired with her speech, but readers of my newsletters know the kind of dating disasters I had each time I pushed myself into a romantic tangle. I believe that when things have to fall in place, it will. And when you try to cash in on the times and get hooked, you are setting yourself up to be either hurt or embarrassed. It was different during the teenage years when you could move from one romantic wreck to dive into another. When you grow up and mature, the involvement is so much more and the failure hurts so much more.

When you do something for anyone, it must be out of love and tenderness, not as an act of duty. When it becomes an act of duty, you either feel like a martyr or simply bear it with toxic patience. Eleanor said something similar to her daughter-in-law Lisa. But her reason to say so was slightly different. It was not that Lisa was being a hands-on mother to Andrew out of a sense of duty. It was just that Lisa ceased to live a life of her own. That was taking a heavy toll on her mental peace. Lisa was getting cranky, to say the least.

Eleanor didn’t want to step in unless the situation was growing out of control. Eleanor interfered with her words of advice only after her son Mike asked her to. Mike knows that Eleanor has the wit and charm to drill sense into anyone. Since Lisa has a lot of respect for this extraordinary woman, matters were not really edgy. Even then, Eleanor had to tread the thin line between privacy and an individual’s right to live a life they want to. But it all turned out well! Lisa is thinking of taking up a hobby so that she can cultivate some interest independent of her first priority, Andrew.

Here is a quote from Victor Hugo to keep you warm: “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”