Dear 123Greetings subscriber,

How’s your week been, friends ? Fine ? Great !!! Me ? Don’t even ask. It’s been chaotic left, right ‘n center; and if someone tries to add even an ounce of excitement to my life, I’ll simply go stark-raving-mad ! Jus’ check this out… Megan ‘n Kong have formed an unholy alliance to keep my kitchen empty 24×7; Ron’s donned the mantle of an Oracle, ‘n Steve’s been tryin’ to race turtles with a beat-up jalopy !!! If you thought that was all, I’m having to listen to “Happy Christmas !” in the middle of summer ! Beat that ! Cuckoo-land, did you say ? You got that right, buddy ! Welcome to my world !!!

Ron came to office in a huff today.“This world is full of nuts, I tell you !” he declared with an air of finality. I know the signs… so after years of honing the fine art of diplomacy, I decided to keep my mouth shut. God proposes, man disposes. This time it was a woman. “What happened ?” Kate blurted out. I prayed, “God save the world from Ron’s rambling rants of rage..” Well, God seemed to be in no mood to listen to me today, and thus spake Ron, “What do these people think, huh ? Am I a fortune teller ? Do I have ‘idiot’ written on my forehead ? Since I stepped outta my house, chaps all around have been quizzing me ! ‘Where’s Ozone Park ?’ ‘Where do I get the juiciest burgers ?’ ‘Do they eat grilled snapper in Texas ?’ Huh ! Next they’ll ask me if this’ll be a rainy season !” “That’s easy,” I spoke up. There’s no telling how long Ron would’ve kept on the drivel if someone didn’t break his flow. “They say if the cuckoos sing on Cuckoo Warning Day, then it will be a wet summer… So jus’wait ‘n watch. Problem solved !” Ron glared at me as if I was a distasteful day-old sandwich ! Oops !!! I hope I haven’t made a foe for life !

Here’s a typical exchange between me ‘n Steve after I’ve stumbled and fallen flat on my face trying to chart my way through the heaps of junk my geeky buddy’s collected in his room –

“Ouch !”

“Bless you…”

“Very funny ! Lend me a hand, will ya?”

“Don’t be a sissy. Get up yourself.”

“You should clear all this rubble, ya know ? You can hide an elephant under these piles of debris !”

“Can’t hear you…”

“Jus’ look around, man. There’s loads of stuff lying all over, ‘n crammed on the walls too ! How do you manage to find anything at all in this  mess ?”

“My sixth sense, deary… Enough preaching already, okaaaaay ? Out you go !”

And I leave, frustrated in my efforts at ‘Operation Cleanup’ yet again. But this time it’s gonna be different ! Ol’ Bob has hatched a foolproof plan with his gang. We’re goin’ to barge into Steve’s room this Less Is More Day whenhe’s least expecting it, chuck him out on his behind, ‘n set things in order ! Getting rid of all that trash is no mean feat, I tell ya ! We’re getting ready for D-Day with our vacuum cleaners, dust cloths, brushes ‘n even a spade ! Poor fellow doesn’t even know what’s gonna hit him ! Well, since I’ve sworn everybody to secrecy, let Steve try ‘n figure this out with his fabled ‘sixth sense’ ! What say ?

Time-machine time guys ! Ready for the ride ? Let’s visit Summer last year….quite an interesting one.. ! Through the window grill sun’s hot rays entered and sneaked into my bed and snuggled close to me. Woke up with a start and opened my eyes to a bright morning and delightful Aaliyah ! Well, at least to her thoughts ! The sweet dream I had last night lingered in my mind like the residual taste of the coffee that stays on the tongue long after you have emptied the cup. The dream was like an old movie or book, which you enjoyed eons ago, you don’t remember most of the plot, most of the scenes, forgot almost everything, but the nice feeling. Tried to rewind and remember what it was all about.. ? I guess, I fell in love with her, killed a few terrorists to save her, and was that “happily ever after” at the end ! Hmm…the dreams don’t have recordings ! Bad, bad ! Summer Solstice it was, the longest day of the year and there I was waking up with a dream of myriad hues ! The day too sure complemented the dream….Meggy, Aaliyah, Steve, and me hit the road and winded up at Lake Placid ! Aaliyah and I went for a stroll by the lake while the foodie beasts pounced on their prey. We had a quiet walk and she said, “Bob, I had a dream and you know it was funny…. !” Of course, I was surprised and prodded her, “well, what’s funny about it… ?” She gave me a grin, “Uh ! It’s jus’ that you fought a few terrorists to save me, you know, like those super hero stuff…Spiderman, Superman, whatever ?” Errr…..eerie, it was surreal !, And sweet, yeah, it was ! Cosmic connection ? Could be, or may be….hmm….

“Fast and Furious” was the culprit….yup, I didn’t like Vin Diesel much, but loved the cars ! And the Speed ! Ferrari and Renault, well, to dream of them would be way too much for Bobby boy…hmm…anyways, got my gang, did some brainstorming and voila ! hit on an idea. We chose the Vanderbilt Intersection for a merry ride. Of course, Steve brought his brand-new half-a-century-old beaten-up Beetle and had the audacity to play “16 till I die !” Well, “anytime I will die” would’ve sounded apt. I had my freshly scrubbed and repainted Ford while Meggie and Ron shared a “rainbow colored” Volkswagen…all in all, it was an Halloween sight. Cut it ! The deal was clear, we drive up the four lanes from Vanderbilt, call them laps, and hit the gas and never the brake. And so we started…music rockin’, the engine rhythm, adrenaline, and the excitement…Wow ! We were through with our ordeal in an hour…but Steve was the last to finish. Ask him why ? Well…he got questioned by the cops ! Bravo Steve….he has hit the pedal hard…hmm…nah ! Don’t even dream it…his Beetle classic was so painfully slow that cops suspected something amiss and suspected a rat….well, Steve summed it right, “Ya know Bob, the cop didn’t even bother to stop the car, he just walked along to question me…” Ron literally choked on his donut hearing it….

Can you believe this ? I’djus’ mentioned that Leon Day was close ‘n Christmas ‘only’ six months away… ‘n my whole gang erupted in cheers ! “Okay, guys ! Cool down… it’s yet a while.” But the damage was done ! This genie couldn’t be put back in the bottle ! “You know, I think the Martians are gonna pay us a visit this Christmas,” mumbled Steve. “What !?” Okay, he’s a geeky nut. Ignore. “Yo, Macy’s… here I come !” That was Kate ! Ron suddenly scooted ! No wonder. Last time Kate had dragged him along on one of those shopping sprees and poor ol’ Ronnie ended up with all the boxes and bags. He looked like a real Martian that time, I tell you ! Even my pooches have gone nuts after hearing ‘Christmas’ ! Kong’s zipping about like crazy ‘n jumping ‘n yelping and Pirate’s doin’ his somersault act ! You bet they can smell chocolate in the air ! “Gosh ! Six Months, guys !!!”

Chocolate Eclair or Pudding, take a pick ! Well, hard one right ? Ask Kong; well, I don’t know if dogs can smile, but Kong almost manages one when I give him the choice ! Yup, he devours the pudding and munches away the Éclair to glory. Megan almost beats him at his trade….yeah, she loves her coffee with the pudding (weirdo !!!) and the spill and speck on the floor is cleaned religiously by Kong. Well, at least they have worked out a mechanism to keep the house clean. Melt-in-your mouth puddings are our gang’s favorite and naturally we stack it up for all and sundry. Chocolate pudding is good for skating…yup, you heard me right, our pet kitty Spidey doesn’t exactly love the taste of the pudding, but when spilled would love to have a slippery foothold on the spill and go room trotting skating all the way. You see, when there are puddings in the house, it’s always an eventful time what with Spidey skating, Kong awaiting a spill off Megan’s plate, and to top it all Megan’s weird choc ingesting sounds…. ! And there are gonna be two days dedicated for the crunch-munch gang, Chocolate Pudding Day and Chocolate Éclair Day, and Megan is grinning from ear to ear. No wonder. Sigh !

Peace,

Bob
Editor, 123Greetings
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