Times have changed and so has perceptions. What was once considered a deviation, is now a part of popular culture. Relationships have been redefined. Now we are pushing towards a sense of equality in all matters related to relationships. A friend of mine is headed that way too. Read on for more…

After morphing from a proud self-confessed geek to a romantic boyfriend, Steve continues to surprise us. Recently he stunned us all by voicing his views on fatherhood and the role of the modern-day father. We were seated in our pad. All of us were there this weekend. The discussion started with Kate complaining about her neighbor who had a whining child. The father of the child got hyper sometimes. Kate told us that the mother quit her job to raise the child. This triggered off the discussion that followed.

Steve took up the thread of the conversation. He told us that the time has come for the modern dad to stay at home and look after the kids. “Why should women be expected to stay at home and give up on a career?” he reasoned. Wow! Now Steve is stoking gender issues! Now that’s a first as well. We rolled our eyes at each other and smiles were covered up with cupped hands and tilted heads. Steve realized that what he said didn’t really go with the fun evening that we were having. Suddenly he burst out laughing and everyone of us relaxed. Then on, it was a blast, like the olden times!

Point of view is not just another tool in the writer’s quiver. It’s something that we all perceive and experience in our daily lives. There are events which bring different reactions in every one of us, and on most times, you cannot dismiss any of these as wrong. Something similar happened to Rachael and her new male friend. Oh, by the way, his name is Charlie, did I tell you that? As it is, Rachael and Charlie are making me repent the numerous library hours I missed. I thought the library was one of the worst and most boring places. But these two young friends are making the library the most underrated dating spot!

This week they had to prepare a lesson on butterflies. They decided to do it together. They pored over insect anatomy books. Rachael told me later, “You know Bob, I kept pointing out the proboscis and the thorax!” I could find no surprise in that. “Of course Rachael,” I offered, “that’s what you should be pointing out.” She replied, “No, Charlie pointed out the beautiful multi-colored wings!” She seemed delighted that Charlie did so. I think our little friend Rachael is head over heels in love! Wonder if we can still find the know-it-all in her, but as of now, it’s a smitten teenager!

This one makes me feel a little full of myself, but I couldn’t really do without writing about it. My birthday is a few days off. It’s time for reflection and coming to terms with what I have and what I want to have. There are so many things in life that belong to us but we have not been able to lay our hands on them, or so we think. A birthday is not just another day in the 365-day cycle. It’s also not a day when you call your friends over and party through the night. I think it’s a day when we should take stock of where we stand in the changing flux of life.

I, for example, think of all these things I have learnt over the last one year. I learnt that friendship is for keeps, but the same cannot be said about love. I have seen relationships break open and ugly carcasses come out in the open. Of course, that’s only one side of the coin. I have also learnt that true love is the only way to absolute happiness and there’s no other way to achieve that. All you guys who want to know how I intend to spend my birthday this year, well, it’ll be very quiet. I don’t feel like going out and partying and all. But, being a New Yorker, you never know! So stay tuned.

Eleanor’s rose garden is starting to bloom. After a lot of back breaking work over the days, the roses are showing up nice. The other day I saw the engaged couple looking at the fresh flowers with a lot of love and appreciation. These are literally the results of their efforts. Frank was telling me the other day, “I really wanted these flowers to come up well.” I asked him why. He replied, “Doing up this place is something that we did together. It’s our first joint venture!” His eyes twinkled as he spoke about his love for these flowers and more so for Eleanor.

I get amazed to see this couple together. These flowers somehow mean much more to them than the onlookers who admire their efforts. These flowers are borne out of their love for each other and their zest to be with each other. For them, the amount of time they get together is not important. It’s how well they spend their time. Togetherness for them is not only holding hands. They want to do something together that lives on in the memory of others as a labor of love. And this brings and sticks this fabulous couple together.

Chili Davis gives us our Zen quote this week: “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” That’s nice, isn’t it?