As Kong and I enjoyed the final hour of dusk in Central Park on Juneteenth evening, we spotted Adrian on a bench, looking rather lost in his thoughts. I greeted him with a smile. “Hey, Adrian! Deep in thought?” I asked, sitting down beside him.
Adrian glanced up and said, “Hey, Bob! Nah, it’s nothing much.” I nudged him. “Come on, Adrian. I can tell when something is on your mind.”
“You know me too well.” he chuckled softly and admitted, “It’s Dad, you know. Father’s Day got me thinking about him. We didn’t end things well the last time we spoke. We disagreed on a lot and it turned into a heated argument. We haven’t talked since then.” I listened as Adrian shared about his argument with his father. Meanwhile, as though sensing Adrian’s mood, Kong moved closer to him.
“Adrian, sometimes the hardest conversations are the ones worth having.” I said. “Arguments are normal in any relationship because you can’t always like or agree on the same things. It’s actually healthy to express your opinions openly in any relationship.”
Adrian nodded and said, “But Bob, these are tough talks and they only get worse.”
I put a hand on his shoulder. “Adrian, it won’t be easy, but trying to understand each other’s perspective is important. Find a common ground to agree on. Let go of the past grudges and try to forgive. You can take the first step and consider being the bigger person here. Don’t be afraid of making things worse; sometimes taking the step can help improve the bond.” Meanwhile, Kong nudged Adrian for attention which made Adrian smile as he petted him.
“You’re right, Bob. Looking back, I realize I could’ve been more understanding of my old man. I might have misunderstood things and been rude at times. It’s time for me to make a change,” he said as he cuddled Kong and asked, “Isn’t it, Kong?” Kong responded with affectionate licks and kisses as if understanding Adrian.
Before leaving, Adrian suggested, “Let’s grab a bite. Chocolate fudge, maybe?” “Absolutely,” I replied, sharing a knowing smile because it was our favorite.
Being more open to understanding the differences, forgiving or simply communicating can help in mending the gashes in a strained relationship. The beauty lies in knowing that family relationships can be delicate and may bend, but they are also delicate enough to be cherished again!
