Hey buddies, Bob’s back to pop the cork on the festive bottles this week.

Try a roasted steak with red wine, follow it up with a Big Mac, wash it down with a black coffee, and to cover the base drip some orange juice. To top it all, steal a handsome share of Kong’s Hot Dog then what do you get ? ! I don’t know about you guys, but for me, it was Volcanic Diarrhea. And Dr. Grace Benton saved the day for me. She saved me the blush, by letting me ingest the right pills so that I could go binging again. Well, I remember the day I caught a bug and was waiting for the injection… She came in, smiled at me while rolling up my shirt sleeves and said, “No, Bob, not strong enough, the needle still goes in the rear.” Well, you know what an embarrassment that is ?!! Anyway, this Doctor’s Day I am gonna remind her how important she is in my life for being a Doc who keeps me fit ‘n’ healthy. Pass the word around and wish the white-coat well-wishers a Happy Doctor’s Day !

Lemme tell you the fun I had last April Fools’ Day. I called up Steve ‘n’ mimicked in my best hoarse voice, “We are calling from the IRS; you are the randomly selected lucky winner of the month Mr. Steve Bond !” And he went, “Oh ! Yeah, err… but what do I get ?” I knew he was shivering, poor Steve, but still continued, “We would like to state By Order you are not allowed to leave the room until we arrive” and cut the call. Steve got his wish; without even opening the windows he saw stars, aliens, a satellite, and even a few rockets swimming through his head ! Hmm… this time I have my eyes on Megan (wink wink**). So what are you guys waiting for ? Poke your brain and play the pranks on all unsuspecting chums of yours and warm them up early in the day with the fun cards we have in store.

This time around Palm Sunday falls on the same day as April Fools Day. So it’s a day complete with a rollercoaster of emotions, what with Pranks to Prayers ! Time to greet and celebrate and pray ! And I have selected a sober suit for the occasion. The mass, the choir, the ambience, kneeling with the family facing the Cross is one of the preserved moments in my life. And this time would be no different ! I’ve started tidying up the room, folks. And I‘m waiting to hear my Granny read the Bible to us on this auspicious day with a trembling voice, albeit with all the kindness in the world ! Of course, Good Friday and Easter, two important festivals of Christianity, are not far away, so get ready for the festive season ! Don’t forget, our pages are stacked with cards for the occasion; so Come, Indulge !

It was nearly a year ago that I first heard Kong laughing ! Hmmm… I can see those eyebrows raised already. So did you say dogs don’t laugh ? Well, here’s an angry ‘Bark !’ from Kong to you; and two from his buddy Pirate to boot ! Actually, what happened was that we‘d gone out for a morning walk in the park and suddenly, from behind the trees, we heard a loud ‘HO HO HO HO HO !!!’ Well, knowing that Father Christmas isn’t really in the habit of strolling down parks in springtime, I was quite shocked ! But in a minute we discovered what the commotion was about. It was Laugh Week and the local laughing club members were guffawing away to glory… And then it happened. Kong laughed ! I swear. But whether at them or with them I never quite figured out. Well, being the perky ‘n’ energetic chap he is, I can only guess it’s the benefit of laughter therapy ! No laughing matter, that ! Well, as the saying goes, laugh and make the world laugh with you ! Send A Smile, Cheer up ! And have the merriest week ever !

I didn’t tell you about Aaliyah, did I ?! She’s a Jewish girl who joined our office recently. And boy ! We hit it off like a house on fire. She is such a doll and she’s got a killer-smile. By the way, she idolizes Michael Jordan ! How cool can you get ?! Her fragrance is heavenly; cocktailed with a bit of perfume (she says there are three different flavors to it !). It has a calming effect, and sometimes I doze off ! I too possess a peculiar fragrance; socks releasing stuffed up one-week dirt, sweaty-shirt… Ron in the next seat also closes his eyes sometimes, but tells me he goes unconscious ! Ok, cut it ! Where was I ? Ah ! Aaliyah; she is such a happy person ‘n’ full of energy that when she feels sad or blue, she can change any setting into a gloomy one. Especially, when she’s had a spat with her boss… she cribs and cribs ‘n’ then turns totally sad. Well, anyways, yours truly, Bob the Wise-head, did the brightest thing for once ! I got tickets for the NBA Chicago Bulls Friday evening and she cheered and shrieked all through the game while I just watched her ! I walked her home later and she bid me in. See, I wasn’t prepared for a move or two, but then I wasn’t prepared for what she led me into. Over a Diet Coke, with soft country music playing Love Songs in the background; she started sobbing, remembering the spat. When she is vulnerable, she looks just like a deer on the North Carolina Highway – blinded by a pickup’s headlights but so confused that it doesn’t move an inch… Simply stares. I took her hand, held her close, and she relaxed. I felt this is what I should do. This Great Lovers Day I’m gonna take her out for a quiet evening walk; it’s the most Romantic Gift I could think of. And to tell you more, methinks I would meet her parents on that very day, which marks the start of the Passover week, festival related to Judaism. An auspicious occasion for her family and Aaliyah wants me to be a part of the celebration. I’m already nervous and I let her know that. You know what she said ? “Bob, when like-minded people are together any occasion is a celebration.” Need she say more ? I have nicked myself twice while shaving already, trying to find her in the mirror, but for sure my facial creases will smoothen when I’m with her and her family feeling the joy of togetherness !

‘Happy Dreams’ today morning, friends ! No, ol’ Bob’s not gone cuckoo yet ! But it’s Find A Rainbow Day and I thought I ought to spread the oomph ! You see, we’re all searching for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow… aren’t we ? The rainbow represents our dreams; the pot of gold, its fulfillment… Kelly dreams of becoming a legend in cooking history; Megan wants to be a great writer; and Me ? I just want to spread happiness all around ! Find your own rainbow today, friends. And paint your life in vivid hues with all its vibrant colors.

I remember the early school days, people. I used to be a big choc-junky that time and as you all well know, Megan gives me serious competition there. On one occasion, we emptied the cookie box by me going on all fours in the kitchen floor ‘n’ Megan climbing on top of me to reach it. When mom queried, I turned jelly. I tried my most innocent look, but I knew she would see through me and I confessed. The awaited thrashing didn’t happen, but a hug… Her words still ring in my ears, “Bob ! I am proud of you for not telling a lie !” I understood the bigger crime is not the act but the concealment ! White lies are alright once in a while, folks ! Like I often wake up my alien-fascinated buddy Steve in the middle of the night and say there’s an UFO passing by. Imagine him running up to the terrace half asleep and half draped, finding just the stars and residue of airplane smoke, but no flying saucers ! That’s fun ! Now, use the mouse, click and send as many naughty, fun cards as possible and enjoy the day !

Don’t scoot so soon guys, this week is so eventful that I am gonna spend the whole week wishing my pals and I wish you too do ! Hinduism, Jainism, and Islam are too gearing for a festive season and I gotta wish Raj, my childhood chum, on Hanuman Jayanti; not to forget Wasim on Mawlid al-Nabi, and of course, Prashanth Jain, on Mahavir Jayanti. You know, I wish there were more such days ! No kidding. I know there’s a heady mix of culture and faith, but the act of wishing and the fun of sharing is what keeps Bob going !