Sitting in Central Park after work both Adrian and I were enjoying mojitos. Adrian had some new worries. “What is it now?” I asked. “Bob, the manager of the headquarters will be joining our branch next month. This is worrying me,” he replied. “Why is it troubling you?” I asked.

“He has a reputation of intimidating people. It’s difficult to work with him,” he answered. “Who is telling you all this?” I asked. “People who have been here for years and worked with him on projects. Some have heard from others. That’s the general feedback,” he said.

“Have you ever dealt with him personally? Like one on one for some work?” I asked. “No, never!” he answered. “Then how are you so sure that you will have the same experience?” I asked. “That’s because I am no exception. He is like that to everyone,” he answered.

We often get predisposed to certain ideas and feedbacks of others. We form opinions. This creates mental blocks. We stop being hopeful or receptive to good outcomes. Adrian was making the same mistake.

“How can you come to a judgment without even meeting him? What you are doing is simply drawing a conclusion from others’ feedback! You can’t have identical experience like others. You build and establish your own bond. That’s the uniqueness as we are all different individuals!” I expressed.

“So you mean that I am getting affected and panicking unnecessarily?” he asked. “Yes! Who knows you might have a great experience with him? He might end up being nice to you. Most importantly, you should focus on your performance at work and not on him. It’s insignificant,” I said.

“You’re right! I shouldn’t fret over this. I will focus on work and building a great rapport with him from my end. The rest I’ll just let that be,” he expressed. “That’s good!” I replied.

“You know something? After taking to you, now I’m looking forward to meeting him!” he said. “That’s the spirit! See! You are out of that mental block now.” I expressed and then we left for dinner.   

Grapevine communication can be misleading at work. We often come to a conclusion about someone like an employee or a senior without even experiencing it ourselves. ‘He said that’, ‘she heard that, ‘they felt that’… and so on! If others say something, let them! Filter out the irrelevant talks.

Let us not clog our minds with others’ judgments. It will just prevent or spoil our own share of having a good experience. Let’s not forget that we all are here to do our own bit and make our own unique relations with others!