In Day 8 we shared how less is more in friendship and on Day 9 we stress the importance of realizing how emotional bonding between the family can simplify your life and satiate your bigger need for belonging.
It is strange. I always wanted to be popular in my circle of friends, peers, and colleagues. I often went overboard to be with them. Many a time I ignored dinner invites from my mom and spent my time with the popular gang. I met few of them lately and was shell shocked when they had to strain their brows to place my name.
I remember how I laughed and acted funny to gain their attention and when I would get tired of pleasing them, I would fail to exist for them. I remember one such day when I was blue and sat alone in my room wondering about all of this, I heard a gentle knock on my door, “Mom! I don’t want anything, please leave me alone.” This was always the way to tell my mom I need your hug and reassurance because whenever she heard this from me, she would barge in the room and take things in her hands, which is precisely what I wanted in those times. I felt weak, useless and lonely but too conceited to reveal that to my folks.
Mom would always make it special for me, she would make my favorite dishes, call my cousins and siblings over, my dad would play the role of the entertainer and suddenly life felt less burdensome and I felt hopeful. Mom had a peculiar habit of leaving love notes in my closets and in my room with funny messages to encourage me to clean up everyday. I used to toss it in the garbage bin completely ignoring her pleas, now I crave for such sweet reminders to organize myself and my life.
How I wish I had spent more time with them playing chess, scrabble, baseball or simply sipping coffee and watching our favorite family show on television. I wish I could have found time to talk with them more often because only at home I wasn’t being judged or pleased. I always got honest opinions.
I wish instead of turning outwardly for gratification and appreciation I would have turned to my family. Time often gets lost and so do people. I am hardly in touch with my cousins, only getting to meet my siblings on special events like Christmas or Thanksgiving. Dad passed away a few years back and mom lives all by herself in southern California.
Life passes by leaving a trail of regrets. So friends, before you apportion your precious time elsewhere ensure it is not at the cost of your family.
Be more judicious this autumn about who you choose to be with. Open channels of communication within the family so that they are not wandering out for joy and family becomes a go to place instead of get-away-from zone.
Do share how you spend time with your family. See you in the comments.