I had wrapped up my work early yesterday. The snow-covered pavements and chilly breeze here in Big Apple make it a perfect time for enjoying hot chocolate with pastry along with that extra layer of chocolate syrup! My phone rang and it was Adrian. “Hey! What’s up?” I asked. “Bob! May and I just fought!” He replied.
“What happened?” I asked. “I told her that she doesn’t give me time and she ended up blaming the same on me. She is the one who is constantly busy with her work and friends. She says that all of this started because I didn’t care much in the beginning!” He expressed.
“Calm down! Are you sure you have not given her any chance to complain? I know how busy you are keeping with work, personal projects, and other investments. Amidst all this are you sure you have managed time well enough and spent quality time with her?” I asked.
There was a pause! “We did have our movie dates every alternate day and cooked dinner together every Wednesday. We also went shopping every Friday and enjoyed a bit of gardening every weekend. So, I guess we did!” He said.
“See here is where you are going wrong! It’s a different thing to have big plans on eventful days but it’s not a great idea to plan out every single thing. That gets mechanical after a point! She is your wife. You can’t give each other appointments to enjoy the day to day life and romance,” I expressed.
“Now I understand what she meant when she said that she misses the excitement and that things are monotonous,” he replied.
“To see a change in someone, you need to bring out that change in yourself too!” I expressed.
“What should I do now?” He asked.
“Firstly, you need to prioritize and keep a good work-life balance. Show her that you value her and that she can count on you like a partner and a friend. And, secondly, you need to live every moment with your partner without having everything planned. Surprise her and be there for her! That way you both will always be happy!” I suggested.
“I know where I was going wrong. Thank you so much, Bob. Now let me calm down my lady love’s anger!” “Yes, do that and let me know how it goes!” I replied and then we hung up.
For Adrian, yesterday had been a winter evening filled with realization.
Relationships are tender and need regular nurturing to bloom beautifully. Before complaining about your partner or the situation, it’s wise to look within and ask, ‘Am I doing enough?’ If not, then it’s high time to bring the change within you before expecting to see that in others.
Let me know how you are spending your winters!