Friendship is often confused with networking in today’s world, acquaintances are synonymous to friends, a like or comment on Facebook is enough to qualify as a buddy. We have different sets of friends for different reasons. We have work crews, drink buddies, coffee gangs, friends in whom we confide and more.
In an article by the New Yorker, titled ‘Limits of Friendship’, Robin Dunbar states we have around hundred and fifty casual friends, people you’d invite to a large party. Drilling it down, he came up with a number of fifty close friends whom you’d call for group dinners, people you see often but cannot call them true intimates. Then there is a circle of fifteen you can turn to for sympathy, whom you can confide in when needed. Dunbar states there are five in your close support group who qualify as your best friends. He also states that the group number is mostly stable, however the composition keeps changing. People drift between the layers and some fall out.
Friendship and love are our social needs that complete us. We must, therefore, keep a check on our priorities and be more with those who matter, who are less likely to fall out. I recall the time Irina went on an adventure tour and made many friends there. Once she came back, invites by our core group were turned down for dinners and movie dates with them. Many of us were upset by this, but I knew that with the progress of time she will return to where she belongs. Now, it is difficult for her to put a name to the faces she went out with.
Identify Your Circle Of Friends!
Reach out to them with a greeting or two once in a month to keep the connection going. Make sure you have similar passions and interests and some common ground which will keep the conversation going. The reason should be more than that defined by work parameters.
Identify Your Close Friends!
Enlist the ones who will find time to be there with you when you are celebrating your birthday. Make a list of these close knit group of friends and folks who will be around in times of merriment and joy. Make sure you are in touch with them on their special days. Share an inspiring greeting or a joke periodically, remember their birthdays and anniversaries. Cherish them as much as they treasure you.
Identify Your Circle Of Confidants!
The circle of folks you turn to when feeling low and indecisive. The ones who are your confidants and those who will stroke you positively when you are in need of the same. The ones who will not judge you, rather guide you when there is a fork in the road. Make sure you are in touch with them on a weekly basis and know what is going on in their lives. It is important to keep them close and make them know that you trust them.
Identify Your Besties!
Share a daily joke or a morning greeting with them. Make sure they are part of your every day. Your best friends are gifts, treat them as that. Identify them and make sure to include them on your priority list. Being with them is a therapy in itself. Be willing to give in this relationship as it is the best investment you can ever make.
As Autumn approaches, the Summer green trees off load their burden of dead leaves, we too must release the past which is no longer serving us and let go of it to create space for the new as we embark upon a journey to simplify life.
Be grateful for all the fine friends life has to offer. Simplifying life is a step towards a positive life.