It is important to feel all those feelings and not block any of them out. Last night I was chitchatting with Eva my friend from the gym. The noticeable thing about her is that she laughs at the end of every sentence even when there’s no humor element in it. It was strange and I always felt she was trying to keep her real self under the wraps.
I asked her about her irregularity at the gym and she said, “I had an accident where I tore the ligaments in my ankle,” which was followed by an unexpected burst of laughter. I felt sorry for her, not for her injury but because she probably took herself casually and never really prioritised her own feelings and stayed in the ‘pleasing’ mode.
Do we sometimes express feelings which are unreal? Do we freeze ourselves out? Do we at times not care about our emotions and get in the pleasing role? I mulled over these questions as I was walking back to my place after my conversation with Eva.
Psychologists say, “Inappropriate laughter is often viewed as a form of emotional dysregulation.” It is when self-esteem is low and our emotions and expressions are unimportant in our eyes. Self-esteem should not be confused with egoism and narcissistic behavior. It involves the respect of others along with our own. It is inclusive and not exclusive.
Couples often fake their emotions, feeling a grave need to match to the others’ expectations but often it does not go a long way. Later as the relationship progresses they become marooned and few feel cheated. America witnesses around 13000 marriages in the month of June but very few last, most of them end in divorce, separation or become dysfunctional. So what could be amiss?
I believe two people can be with each other for a long period of time only when they are honest in their words, expressions and feelings with each other and only when they are complete in themselves rather than trying hard to complete the other. It is possible only when the first person we fall in love with is not the other but our own self. When you love yourself you become lovable. When you take yourself seriously than the others would regard you. It is simple, isn’t it? If you disregard your feelings how will others consider them?
The passion and romance, the hugs and kisses are all part of your loving expressions but they must be directed from within your heart else they are meaningless. Be cheerful and spread that effervescent smile which travels from your heart to theirs. You need not fake joy when you can become it.
Today be honest to what you feel deep down within you, express your joy and sadness earnestly. Know that your loved ones will understand and care about your sincere ways.
Know that you are important.
See you in the comments.