Handling A Negative Situation

Send Cheer Up EcardsIf you are have a true friend, if you have true love in your life, there’s bound to be occasions when you end up in a negative situation. There might be frozen talking terms or hurt egos. In times like these, you oscillate between your desire to set things correct and your natural instinct which wants the other person to come and clarify it with you. What do you do in such a scenario? The first step that you should take is a step back. Detach yourself from the situation and think objectively. It’s the hardest thing to do in a situation where you are emotionally involved. But you have to do it for the sake of the bond. One among the two of you has to take this step to resolve the issue and it might as well be you.

Try not to react. It’s very normal that you’d want to hit out at the person and say a few nasty things. But, will it help you? Will it sort the matter out? Replying with a conflicting statement will only add insult to injury and take the whole matter to a more complicated level. If possible, talk it out privately. If you must, only then involve a common friend. By no means get a friend who the other person doesn’t know. It makes the person feel that you are out to show your influence and contacts rather than patch up things. No one understands the dynamics of a relationship except the two persons involved.

A point I made while writing about how to say “Sorry” is applicable here as well. Do not sleep over a negative situation or try to cover it up saying, “Everything is ok!” If there’s an issue and you know it, hiding it will only make things worse. Talk it out at the earliest available opportunity. Be careful after things have been sorted out. It takes time to put things back on track and these times are crucial. The other person may be testing your intentions at every point of time. It takes time to regain lost faith. Keep patience and work towards nurturing the bond back to the good old days! Good luck!

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4 thoughts on “Handling A Negative Situation

  1. B. thanks for both Blogs- the one on ‘saying your sorry’ and this one on ‘handling a negative situation.’ I do have a friend right now I would like to contact and say that I am sorry. I put him through a bit of a bind last November. I just want to call him up and say I am sorry for putting him in this situation, but I don’t think he is taking calls nor reading my letters. I simply don’t hear from him anymore. Nothing. And he’s going through a rough time with his family. So I feel as though I am intruding. He is a very busy guy and has quite a schedule. Got lots of friends that call him and write him. -Because he is such a kind person.You see, in November I had called him up and made a blunder and essentially got him in the middle of something that I regret so much. In fact, I did see him in January, but I was with my husband and felt awkward to bring any of this up to my friend (as my husband does not know anything about this.).- it is a private matter between me and my friend. What do you do when you merely want to talk to a friend, to work something out but not certain if this friend doesn’t want to talk to you any more because you feel you’re now a hassle to this person. As you put him in a position that made him very uncomfortable and sad, insecure. And yes, I do loose sleep over it. Can’t help it. I have gotten alot of work done while fretting over it, but I am so sad that I hurt my friend’s feelings. I know I am one among many of his friends who love him dearly. I am certain he has much love and support from all his friends. So all and all, I feel I am a burden to him and he’s gonna go. I hope not, but I messed up, so deserve it. I love this guy and would do anything for him and wonder if he knows that I really do feel this way. He probably feels used. That would crush me if I knew he felt that way. L.

  2. It is good topic to think about a kind of a crisis of relationships. The opportunity, when and how to say sorry always baffles.

    But it is not always things go reasonable between man and
    women.
    I had known about a man who always demand “apology” from his wife. The matters was not the things as correct or wrong, it was just matters whether the way suited to his taste or not..
    That person didn’t admit equal right in their relationship.
    If the things were not his faivor, always blamed with verbal
    abuse and demanded apology, never try to know how the way things had been, nor easy to have a room to tcompromise, nor have appropriate behaviors in common place, didn’t like to hear others suggestion. She was demanded to act just like his mother did to him. In several years, his attitude and thought was gradually improved, but his wife was already tired out to protect his honor and face, and finally broke up. His negative attitude made her more negative, although she tried to hold out.
    After they divoced, she revealed the reason of that to a friend, but she was betrayed by the friend. She hasn’t mentioned the friend to anybody for many reasons. But now, she is going forward as usual.
    I think disrespectfull attitude, verbal and emotional abuse, violence, those all can eventually lead to a break of the bond, even if couples or friends had ever created a joyful time. I feel, to try to control irritation and anger is more important before pointing out the ego of another one. Anybady make mistakes in the life, of course, nobody wants to make a mistake though—
    Nit-piking can’t make happy moments.

  3. Always ASK orally.
    Never assume his answer.
    If he is being a nice friendly person
    to you and not harsh, doesnot mean you know his take on this.
    Beware of sayings posted on Web,cannot be relied to be truth/honest.
    Confirm before you take anything for granted
    else you are making a fool of yourself.
    Even after time has lapsed,if you trust him, Talk and sort it out.
    Better late than never!

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