Love Changes You. But How?

Send Love EcardsWe are most alive when we are in love” – John Updike

I just heard that John Updike passed away. I wanted to remember positive things about this influential writer so I thought I’d share what he said. This quote by him says a lot about lovers like Adrian and Cathy. They have both led very disjointed lives before they met each other. And now, they are so deeply in love. I don’t know much about Cathy because I have not been witness to the changes in her as I have been in the case of Adrian, but Adrian has changed a ton for the better. He’s become more sober and focussed about what he wants to do in life. He’s taking himself seriously and taking mature steps. Cathy gave him a much-needed confidence boost.

Love is a strange emotion and bring about very uncertain changes and these differ from person to person. I have known people who got carried away when they fell in love and that took their eyes off their goals. And they suffered and went down the spiral. While there are others who have found determination and focus when they felt love. It all comes down to how you look at it. I mean, with ten dollars you can gamble it way or buy food for an urchin, it’s all on how you take it. What change did love bring in you? Chime in.

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12 thoughts on “Love Changes You. But How?

  1. When I fell deeply in love, it made me feel alive like never before. It made me wonder what was that other life I lived. Everything in this world looked beautiful now. The sunrise, the sunset, full moon, a dark night with a crescent, just about everything looked beautiful than ever before. They all had no meaning without him by my side. Every moment of every day looked beautiful with the thoughts of him. Every moment of every day felt alive thinking of him. Songs sounded sweeter than ever, I didn’t care about any other news of this world or what’s going on around me. Just the feeling of him gave me the most comfort. I felt as if I lived just to feel that love. Everything was lifeless when I was not with him. I felt his presence when he was not with me. I abruptly woke up during midnights as if some one tried to wake me up, only to realize he was trying to reach me at that exact same moment. I could live with this person anywhere in any condition; all I need to survive is his love. Luxuries and comforts meant nothing to me. All I cared was his touch and his whisper and looking at his peaceful face when he rested on my lap. Whole world looked yellow and green and colorful.
    There were many moments when I wondered what it is. I never felt this before. Is this love? It must be, I thought! How fortunate I am to have experienced this in my life.

  2. Whether love works positively or negatively on you depends on the person who is near you.If he loves you as much as you love him then he will support you in what ever you do.
    That will give you the power to reach your goals and will give you more patience and goodwill towards other people.

  3. wow…i checked out the meaning of an “urchin” so no need for you to explain in your next newsletter, Bob.

    and WOW! you becareful out there because as i read one of your readers’ writing ….. Well, editor Bob, just becareful, he or she might take over your job…

    well, i must get back to my alteration job.. i have learned how to make some designer clothes… have you seen my work yet? if i can’t write well, i must learn how to sow..

    take care bob. and nice reading your newsletter..
    play safe.

  4. Falling in love brought the resolution in me that I will always share my love (not just the romantic love) with whoever needs it. I realized there are many kinds of love that canbe shared. So I am sharing my love and care about others more than I did before. I got rid of unwanted pride and undesirable side of myself and became more loving and positive. I underwent a huge metamorphosis after I fell in deep love and I know this will have strong influence on my future and how I will react in certain situations.

  5. Love can really change people. My friend M is now so determined to get a good foundation for his family that he works very hard almost 18 hours a day. He says he wants his partner to feel comfortable and relaxed when they start their family. He is a lot happier though he is working long hours. There is a goal in whatever he does. He also starts to take care of his friends whom he reckons he does not have time with in the past. If love can do anything, it should turn one into a better person, if it is true love.

  6. In my case, I suffered, got carried away and went down the spiral when I fell in love. I lost sight of my goals. I guess it all depends on what it resulted in. Unfortunately I fell in deep love at a wrong time. Yes I believe so, the timing has to be right. This deep love that stayed in my heart, restricted, unable to flow freely towards who it is meant for, made me very sad and eventually cynical regarding some things. Nothing ever makes sense anymore. I lost focus on my goals. The work I loved so much, doesn’t interest me anymore. It’s just a way to earn living. All other goals lost meaning. I am living literally to perform my duties and nothing more. I am getting lots of help to come out of this state, I am sure I will at some point in time. At this point I am also very sure I will never feel this same love again. And I pray that I am wrong.

  7. To S – your letter is sad but beautiful. I love your last sentence. I think to feel love is blessing, to be careful in surrender is something that you learn from experiences like yours. But to be able to love like this shows the deepness of your soul and that is beautiful.

  8. I look forward to everyday because I know that I shall greet my sweetheart again. Life has never been so exciting since I have met him.

  9. If one lose his or her goals when one falls in love, that is the most miserable thing in the world. One string is easy to break but not the same if there are two. The two should support each other and help each other through. The goals become the common goals for the two together. There is nothing more beautiful than the two sharing their joy and sorrow together, yes even sorrow, and opening a brighter future together.

  10. If one lose his or her goals when one falls in love, that is the most miserable thing in the world. One string is easy to break but not the same if there are two. The two should support each other and help each other through. The goals become the common goals for the two together. There is nothing more beautiful than the two sharing their joy and sorrow together, yes even sorrow, and opening up a brighter future together.

  11. S. I understand how you must feel. Love can slam you. It is a ball and chain. If there is some way to go out the door of your abode and look at the world around you. I know it can be threatening and unkind, a jungle out there, but if you walk around, look at the trees, the many people in town in the shops, cafes, lunch/dinner hops, perhaps you can find some solace in just viewing it all as a passerby. Go to a quiet libary or to a fountain in a plaza/park. Water sounds can talk to you. Or if there is a beach, river, creek you can go to. Even in the dead of winter I go to my local beach or marsh land or creek and sit along the banks. Bring your camera and take photos. I do that and also draw, paint what I see. It helps me through the rough times. And I don”t always want to be with my friends during such times. They are concerned for me and kind, but I just want quiet and I feel I can eventually get out of the slump I’m in if I simply do it on my own. I hope you will feel better. If you want to visit me on Facebook, I am there on Tuesdays and Thursday. take care, L.

  12. To M and L: Thank you for talking time to post your commnets and advice. I very much appreciate your understanding and good hearted comments.

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