How to Mend a Broken Heart

Send Love EcardsLast night I spoke to a friend of mine on Facebook, her status message was very sad. I guess she wanted someone to talk to and she picked me. She wanted to cry because someone had broken her heart, that too knowingly. So I asked her about her status and we started talking about broken hearts, what saddened me was that she said this scenario wasn’t new to her, that even friends do that too, and that she’s getting used to it. I told her that it wasn’t good for her, after all, she should be taking care of herself. Her friends should be taking care of her too, and not take advantage. I told her not to go for every guy there is, I know it’s hard, especially when you’re single and lonely, I’ve been there, but you have to keep those self defense mechanisms up too. Preserve your self-esteem at all costs, that’s my advice. She was so numb she told me that there’s no emotion left in her. I told her to wait until it’s the right time. Sometimes, and I’ve learned this the hard way, it’s better to just wait before you jump onto the next ship that comes. My two cents as usual, what do you say? If you have words of encouragement for my friend, please write them in the comment field below and I’ll pass it on to her. We all need encouragement and support, even from total strangers!


17 thoughts on “How to Mend a Broken Heart

  1. Love yourself first. If someone isn’t right for you, you do know it deep down. Don’t settle. Get out first. Look after yourself and make sure those you choose know that’s what comes first for you. Only then are you on an even enough keel to develop a relationship. And then, love both you and HIM with all your heart!

  2. B. I understand how your friend must feel. A broken heart is difficult to mend. Perhaps she could immerse herself in her work- work that is pleasurable for her or volunteer to help people in need. I have been hurt by friends, family and that’s what I tend to do. I may volunteer at a nearby homeless shelter or a children’s hospital where people need my assistance. I make new friends and discover a whole other world out there of folks who care. She did the right thing in contacting you. As you are most kind. I hope she feels a little better after emailing you and reading your wonderful newsletters. L.

  3. I agree with Bob – it’s a big mistake to jump from one relationship into another. And it’s a big mistake to even think that the first guy you meet is somebody you should give your love to. Love is something that should be saved for that special someone. Women, frankly (and I’m a woman) are too quick to give their love, and then devastated when it isn’t returned in the same manner. Wait for awhile, get in touch with yourself (hello – remember yourself?), spend more time developing your own interests, career, doing things that make you more satisfied with who you are; and then. First of all, you won’t be so desperate to find somebody to love because you will be living an interesting and fulfilling life, and second, you will be a more interesting person for somebody to love! Cheers and good luck!

  4. The first thing i have learned in life is never to give all of me to a guy.I always keep the best part for myself.It is normal to get hurt it is a part of growing up you become more mature and learn to judge people better.Keep the right people near you and keep the wrong people away from you.
    As a wise man once said :Don’t worry about losing.If it is right, it happens.The main thing is not to hurry.Nothing good gets away.

  5. Hi B.. Im new to this, but I can very much relate to your friends broken heart. I too am going through a Mending of a Broken Heart. What have I learned… To love myself.. that life will always have a negative and a positive.. no matter what we do.. Im learning to bring balance into my life and not live with infatuation; bring myself to gratitude for all situations. So I look at my past relationship of 15 years (am now single) and instead of feeling anger, resentment, or that Im not good enough, what is wrong with me? I have been finding the drawbacks and the benefits of it.. what did I learn from my relationship, and now what do i need to do for myself to not repeat history.. the biggest lesson learnt, “dont blame” yourself or anyone else.. It is what it is.. Just wake up everyday, knowing that you are special, that no one can hurt you, only “we” can hurt ourselves, if we allow it to happen.. Yes we can all jump into making ourselves busy to forget, but then were not getting to the root of what makes us chose unhealthy friendships or relationships.. My motto for this year and forever, build a relationship with myself.. love myself, respect myself.. and everything else will follow as it is meant to be.. Friendships are what I cherish the most.. Sorry, Im rambling, but your friend will be fine, her heart will mend.. And all the words that people have shared are so wise.. thank you to all of you, as they have helped me in my journey as well. P.S. thanks for all your words of wisdom and all your friends too.. I get tears, I get laughter, its all good .. good for the Heart and Soul

  6. Yeah, I agree with Bob too. Be careful to whom you give your heart to. After all love is not love if it changes when time change.

  7. I have been in the same situation as this girl is in right now. Guys, step all over me and sometimes my friends do too. At this point in time I’m struggling in the exact same way. There is a guy who told a friend of mine that he is thinking about asking me out. I know that he is not the kind of man that I want to date, but I’ve missed being in a relationship for so long that I really want to date anyone. However, I know I won’t be happy if I don’t wait.

  8. It is not easy to help someone with a broken heart. The person has to come out of it herself or himself. Engage oneself on something else, such as work or faimly, is a good idea. On the other, the person also have to reflect on what has gone wrong and do better on that. Otherwise the same story is going to repeat itself.

  9. I know how it feels to be broken hearted. My boss’ secretary keeps accusing me for things that I have never done or said. She just dislikes me out of no reason. If I have to find a reason, it is because she fails to fulfil the boss’ order to get something for me the first day I start. Since then, she uses every opportunity to attack me and to show how worthless I am and keeps spreading this around, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    I disagree with Jap that a reflection could help. There are situations when there are no solutions.

  10. There are times when people just hate you. You do not know why. They keep their fingers pointing at you all the time, just because your face is different. Nothing could help.

  11. Bob, I agree with you. Sending some supporting words can help the broken hearted a lot. It is always comforting to know that there are people who understand you and that you could talk to at such times.

  12. I hope you will move on – easier said than done, but not impossible. Our hearts are fragile things, but they are stronger than anything. If you survived this, you will be able to withstand anything. I’d say life isn’t smooth sailing. And we make mistakes, we learn from them. Like what bob said “in the hard way”. Some people do not deserve us, so what for cry over them? Trust me, you will find someone who deserves your love. If you pause and take a look around you, you’ll find people out there who love you more than anything. In the meanwhile, engage yourself in activities and catch up with people you have neglected in the time you were busy crying. All the best, my dear. Life works in strange ways we don’t really understand, but in it, we’ll find miracles.

  13. I agree with Kris. Getting a good defence mechanism up and developing oneself, one is less likely to get broken hearted.

  14. Just like your friend, I just came out of a broken relationship. Though it may sound funny to others but us (me and the guy) really felt our love for each other deeply. I met him in the so called “chat world”.. I was very new then with this chat thing and I also can’t remember how did we cross each other’s path. He was mending a broken heart that time and I was just learning. I was so excited then everytime we’ll chat and see him on line. And when he’s not around I do feel sad. We became good friends even if there was no personal interaction; we are more on pictures, emails, phone calls and chats because we are from different part of the world (both ends, I guess). We had our ” sweet notes”, term of endearment for each other, we also had petty quarrels, tears and pains. Until one day, I felt the overwhelming feeling in my heart.. yes, I fell in love with him. We’re so open with everything even with our feelings that after gathering all my courage, I told him what’s happening to me. When he asked me what will happen now, I didn’t ask for any commitment from him (though I felt he was sad) and he said might be the best since we’re apart. Our love bloomed and we’re both happy about it. I felt a new me came out from the shell and I’ve never been the same. He is sooo thoughtful, very sweet, funny and caring. I also felt his love for me. He planned to save money so he can visit me and I was so excited hearing that. It’s almost a year of having this special relationship when I felt a negative feeling. I saw him in a picture with a girl and I felt numb. I guess woman has a very strong instinct. I asked him about the girl and he said he’s just a friend, a new gal in their place. I continued asking him about the girl and he said that he has no other intention with the girl only to be his friend and he apologized for not introducing that girl. I felt quite relieved since I can’t confirm anything, I just trusted his words. So we continued our special relationship and just recently, I saw pictures of them again and this time I exploded. The guy I am talking to is a white and I’m an asian and conservative that I already committed myself to him. The girl is hugging him on the first picture and on the other pict, their faces were so closed with each other. Of course, I didn’t waste time and asked him why all of his picts with her are very intimate. Which he replied (and I know he was annoyed) there’s nothing intimate with such. Well, maybe I am not used seeing him with girl on his pict (by the way the girl is the one who posted their picts). He admitted that though they have no relationship, she was so closed to him and they hang a lot together. Adn what made things worse was when he said to me;” I already explained my side and if you don’t want to believe then let me go.” I told him he better decide and I’ll respect his decisio. I was so shocked, hurt, so much pain in my heart and I felt devastated. He knows how he means so much to me and half of my life evolves in him. I want to cuss him, say bad things but I can’t because I have so much love for him in my heart. I cried everyday, made lots of thinking. My heart was crushed and died from that moment. Few days passed and after clearing my mind, I made a long letter for him pouring out my feelings. It was a very hard decision but I let him go. Not because I didn’t love him anymore but i guess that was the best I can do for now. I want him to be happy. And I still believe that if we are meant for each other then we’ll meet again. The pain is still here and he is always have a special spot for him. I want to him hate him but I can’t. Why? because our friendship calmed me down. It is our friendship that saved me for hurting him and it is our friendship that worked between us. We have so much respect for each other. Right now, we do talk once in a while and it’s enough. I do missed him but I am in control for I don’t want to be hurt again. So for your friend, stand and don’t let your life be miserable. Respect yourself more and be wise. Even if you love the guy but broke your heart it just means that he is not worthy and there is someone that will take you seriously. Your knight in shining armor.

  15. Im suffering for heart broken now and make a decision searching for helping me alot not to think of him.. kept my self busy, doing things more and more read.. am starting to start and improve my self for better cause i believe too.. if that guys love me trully he cannot live without me.. he will be back to me.. asking for forgiveness.

    I shared some tips for mending a broken hearted here it is:

    Ist: Kept Busy
    2nd: Pray and pray leave it to god
    3nd: don’t think of him/her
    4nd: think possitive actually before he entered your life you are ok right???? why not if he leaved.
    5th: Smile and talk to your friends over there.. meet new people very interesting kept it.
    6th: learn to love your self even, ithout him is not end of the world maybe there’s the right one for you.

    hmmmm try it…..=D

  16. I Learn from my experience about love.. when you learnt to inlove must accept to learn to hurt..Why??? because that’s life.. it’s foundation for you to grow for maturity for better. I’ve been hurting too past 3 days well i love him much but i need to accept the fact, the reality.. it’s so difficult to let go of someone more than anything else it can break your heart and your life’s make’s slow bored, miserable…. HEYYYYY WAKE UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there’s a lot of people there!!! he is not worth for your love!!!! think of it… !!! time to make your life wonderful.. life’s very beautiful without him… life is very Great especially when you see the light whooooo Over!!! if you need friends??? im her to talk too.. her is my friendster thnk you!!! be happy!!!=)

  17. I don’t know why. It can be supressed in the monnirg but sometimes just pop up. “Forgive and forget” is never easy….find another companion is much more difficult….I hate “silence” but writing blog is a kind of self-revealing, self-expression and connection to the world that every hearts need. Blogs do provide a kind of platform. To me, I need and enjoy it for deeper communication. I love “words”.Sandy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *