“Feeling distraught, alone and depressed. Everything seems like a drag. I did almost everything but the gap doesn’t fill the loneliness she left. You said time will heal but the time itself is like a torturing tornado, uprooting me and scattering me everywhere. I tried to hit the pub the other night, even met another damsel but lost interest soon as the spark I felt with her cannot be replaced. Doc, the pills don’t work anymore. Let me know when I can drop in again?”
“??? pills! Are you nuts?”
“Steve, I guess wrong window! 🙁 take care!”
“Dude! Let me come over with a carton of beer.”
“Don’t fret over the unnecessary, Steve. grow up!”
“Why don’t you try dropping the falsifying hope for a change?”
“Oops! I guess wrong window! Please ignore and delete the post.”
“I guess this is the right one!”
“Hey Dude! You’ll get over it man! I did too… I guess…”
“Hmm Adrian you never told me about it. Hiding things from your spouse was the rule, right? Come home soon, we need to talk.
Steve take care…”
“Oops! I can explain honey!”
Among the confusion and mayhem, Sarah came home that evening. She had brought two chilled chocolate shakes from a cafeteria and we sat at the steps outside my home, enjoying the chilled drink with the sizzling summer sun along with the clouds that were filling up the sky to cover us from the sun.
Sarah is a sorted young writer buddy Bob introduced to us lately. Her smile is like a million suns shining in the sky together.
I am fond of her but I was embarrassed with my post in the buddies group. I generally portray myself to be a positive lad who has all the answers and here I was sitting in front of her, vulnerable and exposed.
She just sat there with me. In between the small talk, she shared her nasty and hurtful break up with me. She said, “Steve, I still feel at times that one of my limbs is amputated. It is unbearable because my happiness had only one name and it was his but every time I feel the loss, I send out a prayer for him and ask God to fill me up with his eternal love. I just know, what is best for me will ultimately stay with me. What I have to keep doing is drop the corpse of dead and decayed relations and create the space for new to come in. Declutter your heart, mind and soul. Keep the good memories and moments in your heart so that they bring a smile on your face when you think of them and let go of the parts that were not in alignment.
“In the beginning there is love, in the end there is love and in the middle you have to manage,” articulated Sarah like a poet.
I looked at her. Suddenly she was the solution to all my problems. The friendship, the warmth and the concern was written in her eyes. We hugged each other for a long while. I felt an angelic presence. We got up and walked inside the kitchen to fix ourselves some cheesy, spicy delights and celebrate our vulnerabilities. Indeed broken crayons still color. Know that sometimes mishaps become milestones like in my case.
Celebrate love in every way it comes to you. Being thankless towards love and grace transforms your gifts into curse.
Love with all your heart and learn to manage in the middle.