First thing I’m thankful for is the fact that phones work both ways! Steve did not have to call his new friend. She called him instead. I got it from Steve that her name is Natalie. Steve was undecided about calling up Natalie. Though I reasoned with him that he should, he was hesitant. He told me, “Bob, it might look bad on me. I might also look desperate.” It was difficult for me to say anything because I realized that it was a delicate matter. It was true that she might think of him that way, but then it also depended on the person that she was. She might actually be expecting him to say ‘Hello’ after all the impromptu chat they had on their first meeting.

Steve did not have to wait long. Natalie called him up, inviting him to a Thanksgiving dinner at her place. Steve got some definite brownie points when he helped her with the stroller and the dog. Natalie was very happy that Steve asked about her kid and the dog. She could talk for hours about her child, now which mother would not? Steve was just genuinely interested in the kid. He seems to be really happy about the dinner invite and is a lot less cranky. He was smiling a lot especially after her calls. I’m just glad he has other interests now besides gadgets and tech stuff. I hope things go well between him and his new friend.

Berka’s cooking established her reputation as a great cook! The wonderful pickles that she made did a world of good to her popularity as well. Adrian has been asking her again and again to make stuff for him, something that he and Cathy can have together. Berka has promised him that she’ll make him a wonderful cake on Cake Day, a cake that he can share with Cathy. Adrian thanked her profusely for the grand gesture. He was telling everyone about it, and that invited trouble from a corner that has been quiet for some time.

Megan heard that Berka is preparing a cake for Adrian. She called me. I was working late that night. I didn’t know that Adrian, in a burst of enthusiasm, told her about the promised cake as well. She said, “So Bob, new friends yeah?” I quizzed my brow. Megan seldom talks in that tone. Anyway, whom was she referring to - my new friend or Steve’s new friend? I decided to bide my time. The next instant things were clear. She said, “So where do I apply for my piece of the fabulous cake that’s being made?” I muttered some lines to explain the situation but I don’t think she heard me. She moved on to other matters.

The cake is generating trouble in the conceptual stage itself, wonder what’s going to happen when it’s made. Megan made some disastrous cakes in the past. But after her cooking lessons she’s been making ground-breaking improvements with her cakes. Despite reaping praises for her improvement, she’s still very touchy on the subject. I just pray that Adrian doesn’t praise Berka’s cake to Megan or worse still, tell her that Berka’s cake was better! Things can fly off the handle if that guy is not cautious. How do I tell him without offending him? Any ideas?

Well, the romantic couple Kate and Jeffrey are going to be having their Thanksgiving dinner with Jeffrey’s parents. Kate is somewhat nervous about it, but she feels prepared, what with Irina’s lessons and all. Rick told her, “Look, you’re going to get married to Jeffrey, not his parents. So just calm down.” It’s interesting that Rick should be telling her about it since he’s the one taking “romantic” lessons from Jeffrey. Jeffrey seems to think that it’s going to be ok.

I just hope things turn out ok with the parents. I know the engagement party didn’t really turn out right but we were there to support Kate so it was fine with her. Lately there’s been a lot of pressure on her with the wedding just months away and the whole economic situation being really tight. “It’s kinda tough planning a wedding on a shoe string budget Bob,” Kate told me, “Jeffrey doesn’t really seem to mind because he knows that his parents can afford certain things.” I think Kate is feeling a lot of pressure with the monetary situation. “Plus Jeffrey’s mom wants certain things in a certain way, ya know? There’s a lot of family tradition that she wants included in the wedding plans. It’s really important for me to respect that but some stuff may just not be practical,” she concluded. I really feel for Kate, and I want our group of friends to be there as much as possible, this is all she’s got in this big city, and since I’m from somewhere else I totally understand how she must be feeling. Especially at a time like this. I hope Kate and Jeffrey’s Thanksgiving go alright. This is the best time for them to get to know their respective future family members.

Since I went home for Mother’s Day, I’m planning to stay in town for Thanksgiving. I’m organizing a pot luck Thanksgiving dinner at my place. Adrian was totally for it since Cathy would be coming as well. That’s what I love about my friends. They are like family and they give that feeling of being at home away from home. Since Berka is baking a cake for Adrian, I’ve asked her to take care of the dessert as well. I’m looking forward to her creation. I’ve asked Megan to do the main course. She’s feeling experimental and she’s really excited that she can flex her culinary muscles. Sometimes you build families out of friends. Since all of us come from somewhere else, we’ve drawn closer to each other and bonded as a family.

Living in this big city with everything going on around us so fast, it can be a lonely life. Having friends help. No matter how fast you are living, at the end of the day you meet people like Rick, who is like that distant cousin from out of town. Or Kate, who’s like a younger sister that you want to look after. And of course the black sheep of the family, is always Kaitlin, but we love her anyway. I’m really looking forward to what everybody is going to bring. Irina and Seth are going to be there too. I don’t know what to ask of them. I’m thinking of making mashed potatoes like my mom used to make them. I don’t know what else should be on the Thanksgiving menu. I need suggestions. Click here to send me your suggestions.

This week’s Zen quote had to be one on the family. I could not trace the origin of this one, but the quote is fabulous: “Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts.” I just hope that we don’t end up having fudge for dessert! Let’s sign the ending note with crossed fingers.

Berka, Donna, Fred and I had an impromptu brunch on Sunday. We had a fabulous time. I wanted Fred and Berka to meet properly before Fred takes off to D.C. Anyway, I love watching people, especially when my friends of different spheres meet. And what happened that day was magical. The magic of seeing people click is just phenomenal. We met in Brooklyn, the Fort Greene area where they have fabulous restaurants. The weather was fabulous, I think Fall is my absolute favorite weather.

Donna started talking about how it’s empowering to hear Fred’s story and how he’s trying to make change happen even when he’s an elderly gentleman. “Age has nothing to do with it Donna,” said Fred, “I’ve seen you making change and creating ripples even as a busy single mom raising two kids all by yourself,” complimented Fred to Donna. Of course at this point I had to play the devil’s advocate and said, “Well, I don’t know about you guys but lately I feel like people are becoming hardened and cynical because of what’s happening to the economy. People are thinking a lot about just themselves but not about others.”

“That’s where influential people like you come in, Bob,” reprimanded Fred, “It is your generation that has to hold the flag now. We can turn this whole thing around and do good for the people at large.” Berka was brimming with inspiration from Fred. “That’s right, in tough times like these, it’s best when we’re supporting each other instead of bickering over our differences. I think showing kindness to everyone would make it easier to go through any sort of difficulty.” Then I started thinking more about my friends and my neighbor, Mrs. Bradley. They’ve always seem to be there, almost magically appearing when I need them. Even totally opposite people like Jeffrey and Rick helping each other out is amazing to me. And you know what, you don’t have to be friends to show kindness, you can be complete strangers and show that you care. I know, that’s hard to understand when you hear that from someone living in New York but random acts of kindness do happen in this hard concrete jungle too. Read on and you’ll discover what happened to Steve…

I think I told you people that Berka is a fabulous cook. She has that natural ability to judge how to vary the amount of salt according to the volume of food without using measuring tools! That, to the ignorant foodie that I am, is a quality that great cooks are born with. You can teach people how to make different cuisines and present them in a way that is totally palatable, but no one can teach you this instinct to ‘know’ how to adjust the ingredients according to the volume of food. Her way of presenting the dish is superb as well. She often tells me, “Ya know Bob, food is something that attracts and appeals to the maximum number of sense organs. It must appeal to the eye, the nose, the tongue equally well. Otherwise the food is not complete.” She forgot to mention the stomach, especially mine!

So true, don’t you think? To prove her point, she got me some homemade mango pickle. It looked great, it smelled delicious and it tasted like something I’ve never had before. I’m not used to having mangoes so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was so taken in by the taste of the pickle I kept back some to nibble at it later on when I order Indian food. But I was wrong in my planning, I should’ve hid the small jar. As soon as Adrian saw it, he was on it. Before I had a chance to stop him or whatever, he was drowned in the ecstatic taste of the pickle. I can’t believe he finished almost all of it somehow. “Where did you get this fella? This is g-o-o-d!” He proclaimed. “Really, thanks for telling me,” I wanted to say sarcastically but I kept quiet. When he’s already gobbled it, let him enjoy it. When he came to know that Berka made it, he was so surprised. Through an open mouth, the words toppled out: “She can cook this good?” I was fed up and didn’t want to entertain him. I left him with the small jar and went off to sleep.

Steve walked in late last week, but he was not cranky that day as he usually is when he has no choice but to come in late. He greeted everyone on his way to the cubicle and had a smile on his face. I saw the stark difference his demeanor immediately. Something must’ve happened with him - maybe he met an old friend or found an easy solution to a complex tech problem. I decided to ask him at the right time. But I didn’t have to wait long. He saw that I was sipping coffee and not doing anything important, he rolled into my cubicle with his chair. Not another UFO, I desperately hoped, clutching my coffee mug.

“Well Bob,” he began, “something happened in the morning.” There it goes! I leaned forward. “I was walking toward the office today when I saw a lady trying to push a baby stroller on the sidewalk. She had a dog on a leash in one hand and she was having a lot of difficulty in maneuvering the stroller on to the sidewalk because the dog wasn’t staying steady, he was running around and the leash was caught up all around her. I helped her to untangle herself and she was very glad and thankful. We exchanged a few words and I helped her push the stroller while she handled the dog. We were going the same way so we walked together for a couple of blocks. It was great talking to her. We connected immediately as friends and exchanged our digits,” Steve was ecstatic about it and I could see that in his eyes. “Maybe I should give her a call sometime. What do ya say?” He asked with wide innocent eyes. I looked at him and smiled. “Um, ya sure, it’s good to make friends just randomly,” I answered, not knowing exactly what to say. “You really think it’s a good idea?” He asked again.

Steve making friends with strangers when he hardly finds time to say ‘Hi’ to us! Good for him! He needs a break from all these lifeless technological stuff he spends his life with. I nodded immediately. “Definitely Steve,” I assured him, “it’s always a good idea to make new friends and connect with people.” Steve liked what I said and I could tell that from the expression on his face. Since we are friends I have observed that he could never mask his feelings, good or bad. That’s what I like about him, he has an honest heart. I’m sure this honesty will do a world of good to him. As of now, let’s wish him the very best with his new friend. He was just fascinated and happy by the fact that he can make a friend just by helping out a stranger. See, New York isn’t such a heartless city after all, random acts of kindness do happen here.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Human resource is the most important resource in an office?” No, it’s not a Zen quote or anything. I’ve heard some suits talk about it. I’ve been thinking a lot about the people who are laid off and feeling the pressures of the financial crisis. I’ve also been thinking about the colleagues that I have in this office. Donna is a big support for me, I go to her when I’m stuck with something and she’d point out something I haven’t thought of before. Steve’s another buddy of mine in the office who helps me out with my dumbness in technical matters. There’s a bunch of other people who are creative and fun to work with that makes it worthwhile to get up in the morning and come into the office. The best part is, they may not be interacting with you on a regular basis but you know that they are there for you when you need encouragement and support. Knowing that helps me a lot especially in times like these, and I think that they know that they can count on me too.

I was discussing this with Steve and Donna too, of how important it is to have moral support in the office. They agreed with me that it is important to have good colleagues around you since you spend the maximum part of your day at work and get to meet them daily. Studies show that there is a rising trend of people being friends at workplaces than anywhere else. Add to it the pleasure and comfort of working with a friend. If you want to know more about my views on office friendship, check out my blog.

To refresh the discussion we started this edition with, here’s a Zen quote by Henry Ford: “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” How are you handling things in your office? Share your stories.

Remember the dream Fred had? It may have slipped some of our minds, but it has not lost any importance or effect on Fred’s mind. He’s serious about the resolve he has taken to initiate some change wherever possible. So he has come with a plan that is not only noble, but will also make real impact. The sheer simplicity of the plan is amazing. He made some new friends while he was campaigning for Obama and a lot of people were impressed by how much he knew and his enthusiasm for positive change. He was offered to join a lobby group in Washington D.C. for Veterans. He was really happy that Obama won and it gave him a renewed enthusiasm. He’s willing to fight for real change. When I quizzed him why he did so, he told me that this was the best time to do something for these war veterans, especially with the recession cutting into their social security checks in a big way. “We have to rebuild America and take care of the soldiers who are coming back from the war zones,” said Fred.

I wanted to know more. So Fred told me how he planned to mobilize his friends who are veterans to talk to their representatives and senators. He’s getting them to do some fund raising for the veterans of all wars, especially the ones that are going on now. He wants to collect as much money as he can to help veterans. I think it’s a brilliant idea and timely as well. “With the economy going the way it is,” Fred said, “it’s not easy to get veterans back into society and get a job. They have every reason to get worried.” Since he’s going to be with a lobby group, he can make real change, campaigning for bills and statutes that is going to effect the veterans directly. Fred has taken up a brilliant cause and with his grit and determination, he’ll surely make headway. I am really inspired by the energy level of this amazing man, not to mention the wonderful work he continues to do for the country. I am so proud to have him as a friend and am really encouraged by him. Enthusiasm is really infectious folks.

Cathy has filled up Adrian’s life in more ways than one. She’s back from her never-ending series of conferences, conventions, seminars, etc. Anyway, the long and the short of it is, she’s back with more than just a bang. They are going out on dates every other night and would you believe it, after every date Adrian would come back home and thank Kong! He’s crazy! He’d say, “It’s all for you Kong, my buddy!” My best buddy Adrian talks to my dog more than he talks to me! I don’t know what Kong understands, but he wags his tail like an old man would shake his head on being told that he’s right. He loves the treats Adrian gets him though. He LOVES them Greenies for sure!

Adrian picked up some forget-me-not flowers on his way to meet Cathy. Cathy was delighted to have them, but when she asked Adrian if he knew why they were called forget-me-not, Adrian was stumped. Poor soul, he had no clue. I bet he never thought why a flower was called what it is called. Cathy didn’t mind though. She told him that medieval legend story that has a knight who picked up these flowers to gift his lady love. They were walking beside a river and when he tried to give it to her, his heavy armor tilted his balance and he fell into the river. As he got swept away, the knight shouted, “Forget me not! Forget me not my love!” until his armor took him into the depths of the river. That is how the flowers got its name.

Cathy implied that Adrian was her knight-in-shining-armor and that was much more than Adrian was expecting. He is delighted to have found love in his rather irregular life. Knight or not, heavy armor or not, he is happy he could make his lady love feel special.

Talk about lover boy knights, guess who’s taking love lessons?! Rick! I know we all see him as the Marlboro man or the ultimate macho guy but he’s been getting inspired by Jeffrey and Kate’s wedding plans. He has slowly developed this secret desire to settle down with Kaitlin soon. He was holding the cards closely to his chest, but they came out, face up, when he asked Jeffrey questions that was so not like Rick. He apparently asked Jeffrey what he should be doing to plan things so that he can settle down as soon as possible and how to be more romantic.

Jeffrey didn’t embarrass him or anything, he doesn’t know him well, so he thought the questions were normal. He casually mentioned them to Kate. Kate was like, “Rick asked you about settling down? He was talking about romance? Rick? Our Rick?!” In fifteen minutes, calls and text messages went out and everyone knew what Rick’s been up to. The beauty of technology I tell ya! When we all met at our weekly get together dinner, we were all smiling at him, but we didn’t tell him anything. EVERYONE was observing what he would do without really telling him or appearing not to notice things. I have to tell ya folks though, there has been a remarkable difference between the Rick that I knew before Kaitlin, and after Kaitlin. Of course she was glowing with satisfaction too. It’s good to see things working out between the two of them, crazy as the couple maybe.

At the end of it all, we were very proud that Rick had changed so much for the better. Kaitlin was heard praising him as well. That’s another rarity. Have we run out of our doze of Rick-Kaitlin fights? Only Time can tell.

‘Barbs of loneliness’. Yes, that was the phrase. In the recent past, this phrase has been going around my brain like a rat trapped in a box. But the fact is that I have forgotten who it was that put this phrase in my brain. Was it Megan? Unlikely, because it is some days since I talked to her. Mrs. Bradley? No, she was too busy with the transfer of her roses to Frank’s green-house. Was it Steve then? It could be. It may sound shocking to you, but I am not, especially with all the philosophical waxing that Steve is indulging in lately. Don’t you believe me? Sample this.

Irina called up Steve to check up what he did during Halloween. Steve, I knew, stayed away and so did Irina. Steve is supposed to have cheered up Irina by sharing her loneliness and empathizing with her. Yes, he’s the one who used that phrase to define for Irina what the both of them are feeling this festive season. Irina was very touched with Steve’s kind words and is now all praise for his depth of mind and understanding of the human psyche.

I was aghast. Steve and human psyche? What’s happening to my friends?! Steve is doing the philosophical wanderings and Rick is learning to waltz! Anyway, the good part is that Irina did take it to heart from whatever this techie-turned-teacher had to offer and is visibly cheerful afterwards. I guess the ‘barbs’, as Steve put it, are not so painful anymore. So far, so good. Knowing the crazy bunch my friends are, this sense of static and calm is very unnerving. This is not the cynic in me speaking, this is the one in me who has to take charge each time there’s a crisis. Or maybe it’s just the calm before the storm? I’m scared to think about it!

The Zen quote this week had to be one on empowerment, because that is what buzzword seems to be. Self-dependency is the only constant in these tumultuous times, so here’s one by Judy Garland to prop things up for you: “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” I can’t say that better. Be true to yourself and everything else will fall in place.

Do you know that old wives’ tale about the Candy Corn being made back in the 1880s and it’s still being distributed? Well, my sister Liz and I still argue about that to this day! Somehow she really doesn’t like Candy Corn and almost every Halloween I remember she makes fun of me having Candy Corn.

I LOVE Candy Corn. Sure, there’s not much to it except sugar but I love the simplicity of it. I mean, I can’t think of a Halloween without Candy Corn! So while I was planning the Halloween party with Rachael at their place, Rachael brought up the subject of having loads of Candy Corn, so I said, “Of course we have to have Candy Corn, Halloween won’t be the same without it!” And of course my big sis had to cut in and tell her the whole story about how Candy Corn was never made after the 1880s. We had our old brother and sister annual Candy Corn debate. It was fun. I remember about the old days when we were teenagers and we used to argue back and forth, you know the whole, “Is to!” and “Is not!” rebuttals. Man, we were like cartoon characters. Now we argue just to remember those times and pull each other’s legs. We reminisce about them and think how silly we were. But we’re still not giving up! We’re still sticking to the same sides. For me that brings out the Halloween spirit, silly and fun. And that’s one of the most important ingredients in planning a Halloween party.

Adrian looked a little lost in the recent past. When I tried to cheer him up, he ignored my jokes which would have otherwise made him roll on the floor with laughter. I ordered his favorite food the other day, but he had no taste for it. He just nibbled at it and was done before I had the opportunity to dig in nicely. I knew he was thinking of Cathy. Cathy has been out of town for sometime now, and it could have been that he was beginning to get worried, even worked up. I tried to talk to him about it but he was indifferent and tried to change the subject.

With Halloween coming up in no time, he was missing her a lot. He tried to steer clear of all the party ideas we came up with for Halloween. Rick and I were in the middle of a discussion about Halloween one evening when Adrian strolled in. He was whistling and light on his feet. I looked at Rick. He was open-mouthed as well. It was clear to both of us in the same instant that Adrian has heard from Cathy and a happy news at that. Before we could say a thing, Adrian declared on our surprised faces: “Cathy’s coming to town for Halloween! Dude, count us for the party!”

After his initial burst of excitement, Adrian told us that he convinced Cathy to celebrate Halloween with us. Cathy was a little apprehensive, specially after what happened the last time she partied with us. But Adrian promised her that this time around there would be no cause for embarrassment for her, and he would see to it that things didn’t go haywire. After saying this, Adrian looked at us, with an expression that suggested that he wanted us to second his pledge to his lady love. Rick and I assured him that he was right and we’ll all have a great time. Hope things turn out that way we want them to.

The Halloween spirit is yet to come out in full flow, but it’s already making its presence felt in a strangely spooky way. Donna told me in office that Fred had a dream where his wartime friends paid him a visit. I was stunned. Donna went on to tell me that his best buddies, with whom he fought shoulder to shoulder during the war told him a lot of things in his dream as well. Now this is something that most people would dismiss as aberrations of the mind or part of his post-war traumatic disorder. But Fred is convinced that it was all tangible.

They supposedly told Fred that the war with the external enemy may be over, but the war with internal problems plaguing the country were far from over. They wanted Fred to do something about a cause, any which way. This has inspired Fred and taken up the levels of his incredible energy to even higher notches. He is vehemently looking to bring about a change, however small it might be in scale. He is convinced that if he can make a small positive change somewhere, there will be a ripple effect.

I was having goose-flesh when Donna told me all this. Here we are, the young generation, comfortably and complacently smug in our personal sphere, surrounded by our sense of security. There was a person, who, after having dedicated his youth for the service of the country, continues to think about the country and his fellow citizens. I have no doubt that Fred will ultimately turn his dream into reality. It’s just a matter of time, folks. Wait and watch.

I have to take charge of two separate Halloween parties this time around. One for my little friends Rachael, Ethan and Emily and another for my older, but equally crazy group of friends. The main task at hand now is the designing of costumes for the Halloween party. The kids have decided for themselves. Rachael has chosen a ‘devil girl’ costume, Emily wants a ‘little mermaid’ costume and Ethan want to turn up in ‘Anakin Skywalker’ costume. They are also inviting their friends for the party, so it promises to be a grand one.

On the other front, things are far from decided. That is always the case, so I’m not surprised. What is going on is that Berka’s helping me with the decorations and let me tell you friends, this girl has got an eye for detail. And she sees to it that everything is in a perfect state. Kate and Jeffrey wants to come dressed as ‘bacon and eggs’, Rick and Kaitlin, after a series of fights and arguments, decided to be ‘plug and socket’. Adrian wants to be ‘Prince Charming’ and ask Cathy to be his ‘Cinderella’, but his plans have not received a stamp of approval from her yet, so it might change.

As for me, I have had no time to give my costume a thought. It’s still very much undecided. I’m actually looking for suggestions from you guys. If you have a Halloween costume idea for me, please pass it on. I’ll be waiting.

In the wake of this great attempt by us to find the right costume for the right person, I’m reminded of a quote by Mason Cooley. Let’s designate it the Zen quote of the week: “Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.” I think the statement’s bang on. Friends, if you are planning a costume, keep in mind the person who’ll be flaunting it. Have fun this Halloween and be safe!

Guess who I saw this morning when I got out to take Kong for a walk? The new love birds on the block–Mrs. Bradley and Frank! They were up early, before Frank’s shift started, to attend to Mrs. Bradley’s garden. As soon as they saw me, they greeted me almost in unison: “Hey Bob!” Then they looked at each other and let out small chuckles. Since Mrs. Bradley wanted to be ready for winter, she’s moving some of her best roses to Frank’s greenhouse in his backyard.

“Wow, Frank has a greenhouse?” I asked, realizing that I know very little of this man-o-mystery. Mrs. Bradley said, “Ya, since he lives in Queens, he has a backyard and a greenhouse with a nursery for young plants and all… there’s a lot of things that he does beside being a butcher.” I can see the twinkle in her eyes as she spoke about him. “Ya, Bob, you should visit my place some time, it’s not as cozy as your elegant neighbor’s place but it’s functional,” said Frank. Not surprisingly, they both seem to be wearing the same smile.

So I told him, “I’ll take you up on that offer Frank. I’d love to see what you can do for greenery in this concrete jungle…” before I could finish, Kong was urging me and dragging me towards the park. “See ya later, folks!” I yelled out and left the two love birds. They were done with the rose garden for the day when I got back. I’m glad things are working out for the two of them.

Talk about blossoming friendships, I’m seeing more and more of Berka these days. I’m learning a lot about her family background and culture. Her family is originally from India until her mom and dad went to England and finally migrated to New York back in the 70s. She has an older sister who is in Chicago doing her Ph.D. She’s been hanging out with Megan at my place over the weekends. Usually Adrian and Seth are there too. The guys are busy playing Dungeons and Dragons or watching guy flicks while Megan and Berka are busy coming up with new fusion food, or cooking Indian curries. Megan wanted to practice her culinary skills while Berka plays sous-chef slash food historian. I contribute to this whole ‘learning experience’ by donating my palate and stomach.

Overall, I don’t really have any complaints, neither does Adrian or Seth for that matter. Sometimes Rick and Kaitlin would show up with wine or port. Have you ever had Indian food with port? It is the most delicious thing ever! I love having food and listening to Berka talk about its origin and history. I find it really fascinating that some dishes we order for takeout without thinking twice have so much of history behind them. Well, that and I love listening to Berka talk with her slight accent from across the pond.

Anyway, Berka has been inducted into the gang of friends really well. She has a way with people and everyone loves her! She’s invited all of us to the Indian Festival of Light or what is known as Diwali. Her family lives in the Jackson Heights area and we’ve all been invited to check out what’s going on. I’m really excited to meet her parents actually, and since the whole gang is going, I’m not that intimidated. I think under normal circumstances I’d be shy especially when the whole family seems to have Ph.Ds or they’re teaching somewhere or the other. I’m just a SoCal guy who is a writer ya know? Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on how things go. I’m really looking forward to it and I think it’ll be really fun!

Last week I told you about our small-town gal Kate trying to become a cosmo gal. She’s been taking all the lessons from Irina. Kate is trying really hard to fit into the life that she might be leading when she’s Mrs. Jeffrey. Jeffrey has been very supportive of Kate in this effort of hers to match up to the hi-society life that Jeffrey’s parents are part of. He has also put in a special word of thanks to Irina for all the help that she’s generously showering on Kate. He arrived to her place with a bottle of wine to thank her. Since Kate has made him promise that he won’t meet her before she is satisfied with her metamorphosis, Jeffrey visited Irina when he knew Kate wouldn’t be around. Now that is what I call commitment to a loved one.

Jeffrey also took the pains to highlight to Irina what his parents liked and didn’t. He told Irina about his background and the way he has been brought up and all that. Irina took note of everything and thanked Jeffrey for the information. When I got to know all this, I was dumb-struck. All for love! They are really taking it seriously and acting like professional trainers training a commando or something! I have seen people go through a lot of changes to accommodate their loves in their lives, but more often than not, the changes have been forced or involuntary. I have rarely seen anyone hit the grind to bring about such a positive change with such gusto. Way to go Kate and Jeffrey, for supporting each other. And of course, their love for each other is unparalleled. They’re the true love birds that I’ve seen and I’ve seen their relationship grow. I really loved that process. I just wish I had someone like that with me, next to me.

After spending that fun-filled weekend with me, Rachael, Emily and Ethan have become the best of friends. They keep in touch over the phone and pester their parents to let them meet up. I am not out of this “circle” as well. These kids really make me have a great day, whatever my mood may be. They have fun, they see to it that people around them are having a great time as well. What amazes me is their maturity and sense of responsibility. Naughty as they may be, but I have never seen them break a thing or leave the room in a mess. I mean, after a party at my place, my own friends make life more difficult for me than these kids do.

They somehow feel I have all the time in the world to fix things up for them and they always turn to me when they need help! I am the go-between, fixing meetings for them, or taking them somewhere. I feel like I’m the “designated adult” here and both the moms don’t seem to mind! The latest craze is the preparation for Halloween! The three co-conspirators have decided to celebrate Halloween together and their first choice is, where else, my place! We went out to pick some pumpkins for decorations and carving out jack-o’-lanterns. So the three asked, well more like just stated and decreed that my place was their headquarters for trick or treating. Their favorite place and the first place to hit is of course Mrs. Bradley’s apartment for her home baked cookies. The gang wants to hit the bell early while they’re hot!

I thought of trying to get out of the hassle of arranging this Halloween thing, but I don’t think I can. They always help me with cleaning things up before they leave. And they always insist on doing things on their own way. They call for help only when things are beyond their control, which is rarely the case. I have a great day when they drop by and I’m looking to have a great Halloween, too. So stay tuned on all the Halloween madness!

I talk so much about these kids but I realize that I’ve never come up with a Zen quote for children. This week I’ll make amends. Here’s a quote by Stacia Tauscher for all those children out there: “We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” This quote is totally appropriate for these and all self-respecting, responsible kids. Don’t you think so?

Remember Steve and his two interns? Now they are back to college after the summer. I received a call from one of them just as I was piling things up to leave for the day. It took me some seconds to realize who the person on the other end of the phone was. Then he introduced himself in some detail and I knew who I was talking to. He said, “Bob, we want to do something special for Steve on Boss’s Day! He was a great boss to us, ya know?”

I was pleasantly surprised but was very happy at the same time. These guys were actually planning to do something for their former boss, despite the fact that they have no real reason to come down all the way to New York. They wanted to see Steve and express their gratitude. I was so touched! You don’t see that everyday, people taking extra effort and coming up with a plan to appreciate someone, let alone one of my closest buddies. I promised them all the support they need. Of course, it would be a surprise. Steve is a person who hates being the focus of attention. If he comes to know his interns are planning something on Boss’s Day, he’ll surely make a getaway. I decided to meet up with the interns over the weekend to chalk out the plans. Stay tuned friends, you’ll want to know how Steve reacts.

Mrs. Bradley looks very happy nowadays. She has a smile going that is sweet and so full of lovingness. Her grandson had come over for the weekend with his parents. Now the chap wouldn’t leave his sweet grandma. His parents had to get back without him. Incidentally, Rachael was with me over the weekend as well. Yes, with her new pup! Liz went out of town with her husband for a conference and I had to babysit. I was not really needed when all these people got together. Oh, I was forgetting the Big Brother - Kong.

Kong had an almost paternal attitude towards Rachael, her pup and Mrs. Bradley’s grandson! Mrs. Bradley played around with them. She didn’t look any older than the other kids. She certainly has the energy and patience with these errant children and over-enthusiastic pets. Rachael tried her best to drill some sense into the proceedings but she was overpowered easily. Mrs. Bradley herself was all against any sort of reason or order. She indulged the gang with cookies and other delicacies. Before you ask, yes I got generous fills too! She was really sweet to bear all the mess they created in her house and garden with a smile. We had to keep chasing the pup because he started chewing things. But, at the end of it all, we all had a fabulous weekend. All thanks to the ever-sweet Mrs. Bradley.

New beginnings seem to continue with full gusto! After the big fight between Kate and Irina over Kate’s engagement plans and the subsequent patch-up between them, the friendship between the two have taken a new twist. Kate is convinced somehow that Irina can make her look, feel and act in a more sophisticated way, just what Jeffrey’s parents want. She reasons that she’s not changing herself for someone, she’s only trying to be a better Kate. I’m not sure of her reason, but I’m not someone who would stop things from progressing in a positive direction either. If she learns a trick or two about make-up from Irina, what’s the harm?

The news is that Kate is not being contended with a trick or two about makeup. She’s doing a sort of internship with Irina! She’s going to the gym, having healthy food, and the works! Irina has never been happier. She couldn’t believe that someone would actually want to take her advice seriously. She’s putting in her best as well. There’s some girl bonding happening here folks! To give Kate company, Irina is doing the grind as well. The two friends are hell-bent on making themselves mirror-cracking material. Last I heard was that they were out shopping and the only thing Kate did was carry a few bags. Everything for her was instructed by Irina. Oh, Kate told Jeffrey that they are not meeting for sometime, till she is satisfied with her new look. I just hope I recognize Kate after her makeover!

And that’s not all folk! Irina is teaching Kate the finer points about table manners and body language. They are poring over self-help books and making sure they leave no stone unturned in their efforts. Phew! What I like best is that the two of them are striking up this great friendship between them. Who could have thought this day would come after what happened on that girls’ day out. This is what my friends are, folks! They fight, they crib but when they bond, they get along like a house on fire.

With all this going around, there is one person who’s fighting a private war with his own bad habit–Rick. Yes friends, he’s showing great courage in kicking the puff good bye forever. He has these nicotine urges from time to time, but he’s showing exemplary control. He’s got Kaitlin by his side who is the inspiration behind his resolve. She’s very proud of him and makes no bones about the fact that Rick is on to something that will not only change his life for the better, but make their future brighter as well.

I have been calling him off and on with inspirational quotes that I collect for him. Other friends are backing him as well. So he’s got plenty of inspiration on his side. But the most important part is that he wants to change his life and has the reins strongly in his hands. That is something that we are so proud of. If you are looking to quit a bad habit, now is the time. Just give it up and see the difference. I published Jason’s story and there were many of you who got inspired. Rick is another example to kick that bad habit. Go for it Rick!

Time to wrap up folks. I picked up this quote of Voltaire, the great French philosopher and writer: “Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” It sums up the exact thought that I wanted to convey at the start of this newsletter. Start following this quote and you’ll see the difference real soon.

I don’t know if you folks have ever tried to answer questions from kids. I have mixed experiences of my efforts to answer a few questions of children like Rachael, Ethan and Emily. They want to know the details of everything and that, I can vouch, is not easy always. They can do so much with just one question, “Why?” I was having a quiet cookie and coffee in my office when Ethan and Emily walked in. Somehow they had formed this idea that I have the answers to all their queries. I’ve been accepted in their “circle of trust” since Donna’s birthday surprise. I have been subjected to so many intellectually-probing questions in the past by them, I recognize their expression when they walk in with a question on their minds.

I braced myself for the worst. It was Emily who began. Let me add, I have noted that it is Emily who is more confident and she’s the one who always asks the first question. I don’t know why it is so, but so it is. “What’s Yom Kippur?” she asked with one eye brow turned up. Sometimes I think they already know, and they’re just quizzing me. I thought for a moment and then cleared my throat, “Well Yom Kippur is one of the most important Jewish festivals. They pray and fast during Yom Kippur while people of the Jewish faith “say sorry” for their sins to God.” I thought she’d ask the details of Yom Kippur as well, but before she could do that, Ethan cuts in. “And what about Sukkot?”

So they have come in prepared! “Sukkot is…” I said in a explanatory tone, trying not to show my nervousness. I felt like I was sweating out a confession, “a Biblical pilgrimage festival that happens in the middle of the month of October.” Ethan opened his mouth again, “Can you…” Suddenly Donna walked in. “Let Bob have his coffee in peace, we can’t have him without caffeine. You guys come in and finish your homework, too.” Phew, I was saved by the mom! She gave a pat on each of their bums as they were walking away back to her office, then turned to me, “Sorry Bob, they bother you a lot, don’t they?” I was quick to reply, “No Donna, they’re great. Thanks to them, nowadays I do a lot of research for myself!” This was true. Folks, sometimes you learn a lot more just by listening to the questions kids ask. I know hanging out with these kids gives me a whole new perspective about things around the world.

There’s more on the “new beginnings” front. Seth and Megan met during Rosh Hashanah for a private dinner with Seth’s parents. Megan called me the day after and told me all about it. Having the dinner during the festival made it really significant. Megan said, “No one really talked about the aspects of renewal, rebirth, and the whole technicalities but it had an undertone to it, ya know?” Seth urged Megan privately to forget the past and start over again. Megan was cool with it. I really didn’t know what to say, I didn’t want to remind her about the big fight she had with Seth. I mean they’re both friends to me, and Seth had done a lot of good things for Kong.

The dinner went off really well. Seth’s parents were very glad to have Megan with them. They made sure she was comfortable. They also saw to it that she had enough space to talk to Seth without being interrupted. The food, Megan told me, was excellent. Seth’s dad was particularly charming and told Megan many anecdotes about his young days and how he fell in love with Seth’s mother. He talked about romance in his days and romance as it is now. Megan was amused and happy to hear him talk, with inputs from his Lady Love, Seth’s mom. Megan told me, “You should meet them Bob. They are so much in love, even after all these years.” I guess she has found a new reason to believe in love after the horrific experiences she has been having lately. The story about Seth’s parents is heart-warming, isn’t it? Here’s to the old couple.

Did you know that our neighbors up north have Thanksgiving way earlier than us folks in the U. S. of A? Rachael learned about the Canadian Thanksgiving from her friend and she was concerned about her Thanksgiving dinner that’s coming up. After all, she’s a vegetarian now, so she was a little upset that she’ll be missing her favorite Thanksgiving dishes. She’s only a kid after all! She has her doubts about her resolve too, especially when there are mouth-watering non-vegetarian dishes around. But I told her that it’s normal to want things of the past or things that you can’t have. What’s extraordinary is that she doesn’t give in, she said, “Uncle Bob, I decided to be a vegetarian and I’m going to stick to that even if it means giving up having turkey for Thanksgiving,” I was really proud of her and I told her, “Good for you Rachael, Thanksgiving isn’t about turkey anyway, it’s about all those other things that we want to be grateful for,” she gave me a big smile and nodded with confidence.

For this year, she asked me what she could have for the Thanksgiving dinner. She knew that her Thanksgiving dinners won’t be the same anymore, what with her resolve to remain vegetarian. I didn’t have enough ideas to suggest her a vegetarian meal that is worthy of the occasion and will live up to her expectations as well. So we thought of using the Internet to help our quest for vegetarian Thanksgiving dishes. There’s a lot of vegetarian dishes out there but she couldn’t decide on what she wanted so our search is still on. If you know of any vegetarian dish that she can have for Thanksgiving, send it in to my email! It’s bob@123greetings.com Rachael will be really happy to see you guys come up to help her out of this culinary crisis.

I’m having a gala time, thanks to Berka and her quote-a-minute humor. Taking a cue from Rachael, I decided to ‘officially’ thank her for cheering me up whenever my face looked as if I gulped a doze of really sour jawbreakers. So without wasting much time, I decided to take her out for a fancy dinner. I called her up and asked her if she’d like to have dinner with me, I told her that I managed to get a reservation at the hottest restaurant in town (and no, not the one I went to on my disaster, accidental double-date with Leo, Megan and ‘What’s her name’). Her time that evening was already given to a work meeting, but she postponed it. I think she understood that I was really looking forward to the evening.

She turned up in a simple black dress but her smile on seeing me in the lobby was more radiant than all the chandeliers combined. The host showed us our table. I wanted to make the evening memorable for both of us. To that effect, I had made all the arrangements. The waiters didn’t disappoint me. The wine was of the perfect temperature and taste, the food was excellent. Most importantly, she was happy and thanked me for the evening. I replied that it is her I should thank, for all the support and the humorous lines which kept me going even when I was neck-deep in work. Her “You’re welcome!” will always remain etched in my mind.

The restaurant was becoming progressively vacant. That is when we realized it was getting late. I dropped her home and went back to my pad, thinking all along how a person who was a stranger the other day could make me so happy in so less time. I’m sure you know some people who have a similar effect on you. Why don’t you share it with us?

This week’s Zen quote comes from Oprah Winfrey, who made this wonderful statement: “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” It sums up the essence of saying ‘thank you’ most poignantly… what say?

Donna’s children, Ethan and Emily, are a handful for anyone! They stay back at the office sometimes, as you know by now. So it happened last day that they got a book on smiles. They came into my cubicle and showed me the book. Now the book contained different types of smiles and what they speak about the person. Very interesting, I must say! I got hooked and started reading while they pestered me to explain the meaning of this word and that.

Reading a few pages of the book set me thinking. Really, I never noted the way people smile and what that smile speaks of the person’s mood. I tried to recall my friends’ smiles. Didn’t find them smiling ever, did I? They always guffawed! Guess I’m not being kind towards them. But yes, there are some old jokes that are drenched in nostalgia. Then we don’t laugh like lunatics, it’s just a smile that comes up. A smile to acknowledge the time-less appeal of the joke and a sense of loss of the good ol’ times. I’m going to be talking about this on my blog. Check it out!

There are times when you bow your head in respect for people who fought against all odds and came out victorious in their own way. They may not have statues and memorials dedicated to them, but they have not been any less heroic. I know about some brave people who didn’t give up the fight for life even when they were faced with cruel death. I bring this up in this edition because of a true story that Mrs. Bradley told me the other day.

Frank shared with her that his wife suffered from breast cancer. She had to take a lot of pain and live through it. Would you believe it folks that she never told anyone about her illness? Yes, neither her family nor Frank knew of her illness until the ultimate stages. She bore the excruciating pain alone and never let anyone know about it lest they worry about her. She said to Frank on her death-bed that she wanted to live her life normally with her family. She was sure that doctors and medicines cannot give her the comfort that the smiles of her family could.

I salute this woman for her incredible courage and strength. October is the Breast Cancer Awareness Month and it’s time we become aware of this deadly disease. Studies show that most women suffering from this disease don’t recognize the symptoms till it escalates to a complicated stage. I would like all my readers to note that ignoring illness doesn’t cure it, it only makes it worse. Make sure you’re getting your mammograms and self-examinations. Talk to your doctor and even if you are not over forty, you should still check with your doctor at least once a year, if not every six months. And if you know any inspirational stories of people who have fought extremely adverse situations, tell us the story.

Children have this uncanny ability to spread a smile on your face without the least effort. Rachael, with her pup, is a delight to be with. Last day I was with her in the afternoon and she was busy teaching her pup how to sit and fetch on command. I pointed out that maybe it’s too early for the pup, but she would have none of it. She persisted in her effort and smiled broadly whenever the pup goofed up.

I got amused after some time. The work pressures bubbling in my mind made the vanishing act and soon I joined them in their fun. While playing with her and the pup, I recalled to her my own days when Kong was a pup. She was rolling with laughter listening to my vain attempts to teach Kong the ways of the world. She concluded with a smile that she was better with a pup than I ever could be. I accepted that. Would you not like to hear about the pup? Well, he’s much stronger now, what with Rachael’s constant vigil and care. With proper food and medicines, he looks in a much better shape. When I got up to leave and walked out the door, they were still playing. Really friends, it is moments like these that make life better.

I am having a fabulous time friends! Berka is delightful company. She’s always coming up with these incredibly funny one-liners and comments that drives me crazy with laughter. Just the other day I caught up with her in my lunch break. She said, ‘Ok Mr. Grumpy, what is it?” I admit I was a little off that day, what with work pressure and all the pending work that needs to be sorted out. I gave a wry smile as a defensive move. She was not to be disarmed.

‘Let’s play a game,” she went on, “we’ll try to guess what people are thinking.” I pricked up my ears. She noted the rising interest on my face. “Let’s put words into the mouths of all the silent people sitting around! Remember it has to be funny and outrageous. The funnier, the better!” Game on! You wouldn’t believe how time flew off. Soon my mood made a dramatic U-turn. The things we said about the silent, unsuspecting people around us! They would have us in front of the firing squad should they come to know! What I really liked about Berka is that she knows how to laugh at others and with others. The most important thing about her is that she has no qualms in laughing at herself as well. That’s great news for any new friendship I think - laughing together. After a hilarious time with my new friend, I felt light and energetic enough to go back to my desk and crank out some content. Really, as they say, what are friends for?

Let’s sound the ending note with a Zen quote on, what else, smiles! This one is of unknown origin, but I had to honor it just for the simplicity of thought, if not anything else. It goes: “Everyone smiles in the same language.” How true! Smiles cut across all boundaries and has universal appeal. The quote expresses that emotion simply and beautifully, just like a smile would do.

Well folks, you won’t believe the twist that Megan’s love life recently took. You read about the disaster Oktoberfest that we had, right? Megan called up Leo the next day and dumped him. She told him that he was being a pain to her friends and embarrassed her. She also told him that any boyfriend of hers wouldn’t do that. We were all cheering for her when we heard the news, of course. Well for Rosh Hashanah she has new plans with a new um… well, different person!

Megan dumping Leo is only the beginning of the story. Since Rachael and I went to pick up a pup from the animal shelter, Seth learned about what happened to Megan. (Yes, yours truly has a big mouth.) I didn’t know that I was supposed to keep my mouth shut to ex-significant others of friends. I only mentioned it in passing and talked about the disaster party. Ok, maybe I should have realized that I wasn’t supposed to be letting my tongue loose. Well, before I knew it Seth had all the info he needed about Megan and it gave him enough reason to call her. I didn’t know that I unknowingly started another chapter in Megan’s life until she called me. She was furious at first, “What gave you the right to talk to him about me?” she accused me. I had to calm her down and told her to think positive. I remembered a friend telling me of seeing the positive sides of things in any outcome. Maybe I read that from one of the comments. Yes, folks, I do read your comments! I couldn’t remember properly because I had to think of ‘evasive maneuvers’, as Steve calls them.

After her venting, Megan calmed down and told me that she just needed to let things out because there are too many things going on in her life in a pace that she’s not catching up. “Hey, what are friends for?” I asked, just glad that she wasn’t yelling in my ear anymore. It was a good thing she called and not show up. She might have beaten me up on the spot! Women and their fury I tell ya… But Megan was glad overall because she was on a rebound with Leo when she broke up suddenly with Seth. She wasn’t that serious about him, “He just sounded nice for some reason, all that motivational talk can be addictive,” she said. Ya, and a lot of self-help books are best sellers, I know, I’m a writer. But when the infatuation faded, there wasn’t much to him and she was bored. So now she’s on a rebound with Seth to get out of being with Leo, which was caused by the break up with Seth to begin with?! Okay, that’s just way too complicated! Let me just leave it at that and h